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Okay, so I haven't been active here for a while now.

First off, I didn't really want to associate this account with my current dilemma, so I made a new account to ask this question (and I totally forgot that it needs approval before being posted. XP).

So, if you've read my previous posts, you know about how long I've been interested in and doing this whole pants-wetting thing. You may also be aware of the fact that I don't do it to get aroused or anything (nor does watching or holding or anything else cause that to happen).

I have just dealt with this urge for so long, and I want to know why. Google is no help; all it does is show me sites about incontinence. And this website, of course.

But why, guys? Why do I have this urge? Why do I want to pee my pants? I don't understand it, and I want answers. I'm not saying I'm ashamed of it or that I think I'm broken or anything. I just need to know why I feel like this. It confuses me. I don't want anyone to tell me that it's not wrong and that I'm not a bad person for wanting this; that's not the kind of answer I'm looking for.

I should mention that I have severe anxiety and a mild form of Asperger's (that kind of manifests itself as Bipolar Disorder--it's complicated). I feel the urge a lot more when I've had a particularly hard day or am feeling extremely stressed or anxious. Do you think that makes a difference?

I just want answers. :unsure:

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Answers are difficult to find for this kind of thing. But there's many reasons why people have a fetish. I briefly skimmed over your recent posts, but I'm unabled to determine if this a sexual thing for you or just a comfort thing. This could help in finding out. I see that you use diapers. Is it possible it could be from a childhood experience (or lack of experience)? That isn't the only reason at all, I'm just throwing ideas out there.

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Yeah, I'm not much of a psychologist myself. Lol. I do think it is a comfort thing, and it does help to relieve some of my stress and anxiety on those bad days. The type of enjoyment I get out of it is not linked to anything sexual. Maybe the whole "comfort" side of it stemmed from a difficult childhood. My father was (is?) a rage-aholic, and frequently yelled at my sister and I. He would punch holes in walls and doors, and one time he shattered a glass in front of me—with his bare hand. I walked on eggshells around him for most of my life.

I started having the urges to do this kind of thing pretty early in life, too. When I was maybe four or five, I used to like to sit on the toilet and pee through my underwear. If I had to poop, I'd then continue playing and do it in my wet underwear. I guess it would make sense as being some kind of coping mechanism. I did go through a rather long streak of wanting to pee my pants (and in inappropriate places/diapers) in the first couple of years of high school, too. Issues with my dad escalated back then severely.

I just wish I knew WHY this was the coping technique I developed. Weird.

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Well yeah. I think it's safe to say it's definitely childhood related. Perhaps reverting back to a time where you felt you had more control. You knew what you were doing and chose to do it.

Sometimes coping mechanisms develop in strange ways. I personally see it as a casual interest and not a fetish. However I don't engage in self wetting often. It's more just the general subject of unintentional accidents and desperation that I enjoy for some reason.

I don't see yours as a problem though, if it comforts you. We all have ways of getting through life.

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I think that a lot of fetishes are the sexualization of taboos. And if it's not a sexual thing, than it is an exploration of taboos. As adults we are not supposed to wet our pants, and so doing so is a challenge to this role as an adult. I know for me, I like the sense of embarrassment that comes as a result of an accident, as well as the warm wet feeling, spreading down my legs or through my diaper.

I know also that urine plays a role in sex for other animals, Giraffes for example, so there is likely something evolutionary there. But most of all I'd say if you are feeling anxious, and I think we've all been there at some time, to embrace it as part of who you are. Fighting it doesn't seem to help, so I treat me interests in pee stuff like any other bodily function and when I get more comfortable, they become more enjoyable, and I need to do them less. 

 

Not sure if this helps but you've got a good community here to support you :)

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I certainly can't speak for anyone else, but for me, it's about the loss of control. I never thought of myself as a submissive type, until I got into hypnosis and realized that I enjoyed being controlled and given instructions. That's carried over into my omo fetish, as before, I was purely into watching girls be desperate. But now I also enjoy being desperate myself, and I enjoy when my bladder completely fails me and I can't stop peeing. It's not really even sexual for me, it just makes me feel good, not having to do anything but sit there and pee my pants.

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As I have said several times, I think that most of the sensations involved in omorashi are not sexual at all. If you let of all the connotations of it, you're left with the pleasant feelings of:

-warm wetness, like a bath

-relief, like sitting down after a long day

-calm, as the stressful feelings literally drain away

Unless you think about it, it doesn't really seem sexual. It just feels nice.

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1 hour ago, guest said:

As I have said several times, I think that most of the sensations involved in omorashi are not sexual at all. If you let of all the connotations of it, you're left with the pleasant feelings of:

-warm wetness, like a bath

-relief, like sitting down after a long day

-calm, as the stressful feelings literally drain away

Unless you think about it, it doesn't really seem sexual. It just feels nice.

Thank you for this, so much. I can't even begin to tell you.

I've struggled with this, thinking for a while that it was sexual, that my tastes were just much different than others'. When I first searched for what made me want to pee my pants, all I saw was basically about it being a turn-on for people. Quite frankly, it scared me. So thank you for this, for completely removing anything sexual from the context. This really helps.

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Psychoanalysis 101: understand that everything a human does is sexual. Anxiety is the sense of impending doom, not to the organism necessarily, rather a generalized stimulus to escape an environment which is unfavorable to the propagation of the genes that are the sole reason for its existence. Thus anxiety is more associated with failure than danger.  I think you will agree that while you do not experience sexual arousal, wetting is an experience of love. And love, in all its forms, is what makes the life cycle go round.

At age four (when I also developed my fetish), sex and urination are not distinctly separate. In response to overwhelming anxiety, the mental apparatus of sexuality-urination, while immature, can nonetheless still be called upon to reduce stress, making it possible to coexist with otherwise intolerable relatives, upon whom we are utterly dependent for survival. Like an insect bite on immature fruit, the mark of the healing response can be quite large when fully grown. "Trauma" is thus not necessarily as dramatic in the moment of the original "reaction formation" as the consequent "paraphilia" might suggest.

Again, I think that whether one's adult sex organs are involved in omorashi depends mainly on whether one is playing the role of object or subject. I don't get erect when I'm playing object, or love-recipient, either. The feeling is nonetheless quasi-orgasmic.

Edited by Clem Trilling (see edit history)
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I wouldn't hold him up as any sort of scientific authority, but the ideas ring true, particularly in light of the modern selfish gene theory. I had hoped psychology would be as interesting a subject in school as his old volumes suggested. Instead I learned a bunch of irrelevant shit that would serve in advertising, or a quack pushing meds. And most of that canon is today being invalidated by studies of publication bias. In other words, scientists are also idiots.

As the years pass, I am coming to see Freud's time generally, the dawn of the 20th century, may have been the pinnacle of human thought, before we sold out to corporate interests.

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But that's the problem with Freud. He said everything was about sex for everyONE. But that's like saying all humans are meat eaters or that all humans believe in God. It's simply not true because you can't fit everyone into one neat and tidy box.

Also, your definition of anxiety is completely wrong. If you suffered from an anxiety disorder, you would understand this better. As it stands, your interpretation of it makes you seem ignorant, which I'm sure you're not.

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8 hours ago, ConfusedOne said:

Asperger's ... I feel the urge a lot more when I've had a particularly hard day or am feeling extremely stressed or anxious ... comfort thing, and it does help to relieve some of my stress and anxiety on those bad days

Key points quoted.

Sorry for the wall-o-text, but I feel this is all relevant, and a bit of backstory is necessary in this case.

Being a fellow sperglord (there's dozens of us!), I can relate in a lot of ways, Omo-related or not. I'll write out my relevant experience below, and hopefully it'll give some insight. I've learned quite a bit over the years, and I remember what it was like before I figured shit out, so let me know if you'd like me to elaborate on anything in particular, although I can't imagine my ruminations on living with autism are particularly entertaining ;)

I was very reserved and shy for a large chunk of my life, and never had many friends/relationships. Always too smart for some, too blunt/literal for many, and too quirky for most. I was a mess for quite a while, and I'm still the straight-to-the-point "tech genius" who doesn't sugar coat things enough, but I'm nice enough, and I crack enough jokes that I get by lol.

I began to develop an interest in pants-wetting well before puberty, and well before I even knew what sexual feelings were. My upbringing was a bit tumultuous, in large part due to my stress/anxiety, un-diagnosed autism, and my parents' deteriorating relationship. It was calming, and it helped relieve stress (of which I had plenty, and still do...), and I simply liked doing it, despite having no explanation for why. I also went through the "peeing where I shouldn't" phase, but in hindsight I think that was in response to not being able to wet clothes as much as I'd have liked.

I've always had GI issues, so messing was something that occasionally occurred, but rarely because I wanted it to, although I never minded it. This also led to me wearing diapers during certain parts of my childhood, well past the point where I was toilet-trained. They always gave me a sense of security and comfort, and I never wanted to give them up when I had to.

I went through a kind of dormant period in regards to these interests, coinciding with my being diagnosed, subsequently medicated, and depressed on-off, lasting so long that even through puberty I had little interest in girls (or much of anything for that matter...), and didn't even start masturbating until I was well into my teens.

Eventually, I started making some progress in my life at school and socially, and my interests turned back to diapers, likely from the aforementioned periods of wearing them, and they became my go-to stress reliever. Yeah, it's a weird one, but it works for me, and that's all I'm concerned with.

Slowly, my omo interest moved from me wetting myself to relax, to a fetish (i.e. me liking the idea of women desperate/wetting), and diapers became both. That's where I'm still at now, and I'm very comfortable with it. It helps me get through life, it takes me back to an idealized version of a simpler time, and I enjoy it a lot, so I consider it a blessing. I'm not shooting up heroin, I'm not gambling every weekend, I'm not hooked on fentanyl, and I'm not hurting others. I'm sitting around in a diaper playing Killing Floor 2 on Steam, and I challenge anybody to take issue with that! :)

So, in short, yes it's a comfort thing, it's a stress reliever, and it's likely the result of some childhood things that many of us have in common, and (based on the number of aspies on this board) maybe a little autism added in as well ;)

Edited by HPattern (see edit history)
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3 hours ago, guest said:

As I have said several times, I think that most of the sensations involved in omorashi are not sexual at all. If you let of all the connotations of it, you're left with the pleasant feelings of:

-warm wetness, like a bath

-relief, like sitting down after a long day

-calm, as the stressful feelings literally drain away

Unless you think about it, it doesn't really seem sexual. It just feels nice.

I know, I know, I'm not Drake. I'm still posting back2back though...

This description of Omo made me think about what's different about dealing with stress as an autistic person. We don't always build up stress in the same way others do, or even from the same things others do. This is also true of the way we relieve stress, and may also tie into the sensitivity to touch/sound/light/etc. that many experience.

Omorashi consisting of simple stimuli that are almost universally perceived as positive may be a way of getting through to a mind that can't stand a variety of other stimuli, becomes overloaded/overexposed easily, or can't slow down for just 2 seconds to relax...

Props to @guest for inspiring me to look at this in an interesting new light!

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@HPattern Your wall o' text was actually very comforting for me. I kind of had the audacity to assume I was the only person here that has autism and likes to pee their pants. 

I think my biggest issue with this is that I continually have to remind myself that I'm not doing it for sexual reasons. I'm a very devout religious person, and the fact that most people DO use omo as a sexual stimulus often convinces me that that's really what I'm doing too; I'm just in denial or something. And then I subsequently feel guilty, like I'm sinning in horrible, unmentionable ways. My biggest internal conflict is figuring out whether I can pee my pants and still be a good person, still faithful to my religion. Does that even make sense?

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8 hours ago, ConfusedOne said:

My biggest internal conflict is figuring out whether I can pee my pants and still be a good person, still faithful to my religion. Does that even make sense?

While this type of thing isn't what I concern myself with, I understand the situation. Dogma, or people's individual perception of it, is very hard to break with, despite how trivial the deviation would seem to outsiders. Many religions have a habit of convincing people that any behavior considered out of the ordinary is to be condemned, with no consideration of the effects that threat of condemnation, and the resultant cognitive dissonance, have on the mental health of their congregants, commonly in addition to an utter disregard of human nature and/or biology.

As my parents weren't very religious, and raised me with the intent that I find my own way in that regard, I don't have any personal experience in figuring such a conflict out, and unfortunately don't have much "practical" advice in that regard, besides the typical cliches :P

8 hours ago, ConfusedOne said:

I kind of had the audacity to assume I was the only person here that has autism

No problem, this is a brand new frontier to you, and with autism being a rather isolating condition, it's hard to imagine there's so many others around, especially on an already niche board lol. I was quite surprised at the number of fellow autists as well, although I guess it makes sense with our predisposition to computers and longer-form text-based contact.

As far as original advice, just remember that you've got time to sort things, and the first conclusions you come to won't necessarily be the end-all be-all of how you feel on the matter. You don't have to figure this out quickly, and it may be a winding road there, even hitting some dead-ends along the way, having to go back and rethink things, etc, and that's just fine. We'll be here to help you out, so don't hesitate to ask when new questions pop up. :)

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On 1/15/2017 at 0:58 AM, ConfusedOne said:

Thank you for this, so much. I can't even begin to tell you.

I've struggled with this, thinking for a while that it was sexual, that my tastes were just much different than others'. When I first searched for what made me want to pee my pants, all I saw was basically about it being a turn-on for people. Quite frankly, it scared me. So thank you for this, for completely removing anything sexual from the context. This really helps.

 

On 1/15/2017 at 3:10 AM, HPattern said:

I know, I know, I'm not Drake. I'm still posting back2back though...

This description of Omo made me think about what's different about dealing with stress as an autistic person. We don't always build up stress in the same way others do, or even from the same things others do. This is also true of the way we relieve stress, and may also tie into the sensitivity to touch/sound/light/etc. that many experience.

Omorashi consisting of simple stimuli that are almost universally perceived as positive may be a way of getting through to a mind that can't stand a variety of other stimuli, becomes overloaded/overexposed easily, or can't slow down for just 2 seconds to relax...

Props to @guest for inspiring me to look at this in an interesting new light!

No problem. I'm glad I was able to help you.

My personal philosophy is that if you look back far enough, everything has deep roots that make perfect, simple sense before they become more complicated and confusing. I had a bit of trouble understanding the feeling of wetting myself (both sexually and not) until I thought of it in this manner myself.

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For me, fetish is like God. Don't question it. It's just there. It doesn't matter where it comes from, why and if it'll go away. Just enjoy it whenever you can. It was the same with gays for long time, and after discovering all the searching for reasons is too complicated, they gave up and said "they were born this way". That's it.

Don't feel weird if you're different from majority of people, don't feel like you have to find excuses or reasons for being what you are. Firstly, because it's pointless, and secondly, because nobody cares. We know we love this fetish, and we know it's nothing wrong with it, what's all we need. 

What people should really be thinking about is how to make fetish like this more socially acceptable. Society is still full of taboos, even more than it used to. It accepted some things, but for some things it still reacts like a bunch of peasants from 15th century. What society needs is to ACTUALLY accept ANY differences like that, not just some of them. 

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could just be curiosity thats what got me into it i like to experience new thing and always wonder what it would feel like to do this or what if i did that and it just gose from there. i wasnt intrested in it sexually to start with i was just curios what it felt like and i liked it when i finally tried it. :p 

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