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I Pee on Your Grave


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It was a terrible thing to do, but I couldn't help it.  He was a bully, and everyone hated him.  But, when he fell through the ice and drowned, we all went to his funeral.  Maybe we just wanted to get out of a half day of school.  Anyway, there was a big crowd at the funeral.  

We stood in line and paid our respects to his parents, whom most of us had never seen and would never see again.  Then we sat quietly around the room and talked.  Occasionally we mentioned the reason for our being there, but not often.  He just wasn't a pleasant memory.  

They had a good spread of eats in the back room, so we all eventually migrated in that direction.  Someone got thirsty and opened the refrigerator and discovered several cases of beer.  Beer at a funeral?  No way.  But there it was, cold and inviting.  Of course, high schoolers aren't supposed to imbibe, so we discreetly spirited a case into the men's room, and converted it into urine.  No one got shit faced.  One guy knocked off four, I had three, and two or three seemed about the limit for everyone else.

When it was time for the funeral to start, we dutifully drained our bladders, popped a breath mint, and went back to where the service would be.  It was a nice service, as funerals go.  Several people said nice things about the dearly departed -- all lies, of course -- but it sounded nice.  A recorded soprano screeched out "Amazing Grace," and we all filed out to get in our cars.  

It took a while to carry out those thousands of dollars of wilting flowers, but finally we headed out to the cemetery.  Some idiot decided to take us all by the school, and then their house, so it took half an hour or so to reach the cemetery, which was five minutes away.

As we walked up to the grave, some funeral guys handed each one of us a flower.  What a waste; but what the hey?  It wasn't my money.  Someone suggested that we were expected to place the flowers on the casket, which turned out to be the case.

If a prayer's value be measured by its length, the preacher surely got an "A."  It think he even mentioned the dearly departed a time or two.  Then there was a shaking of hands and whispers of sympathy to those favored with seats for the ordeal.  The funeral director handed the preacher an envelope, and patted him on the shoulder.  Then, it was time to file by the grave and lay our flowers on the casket.  Family first, then friends, then the rest of us.  As we had hung back from the funeral tent, we were among the last to file by.

By this time, my three beers had metamorphosed into urine and quite filled my bladder.  Nearing the grave, I realized the ludicrous irony of thinking about my bladder, instead of the guy in the box.  The dis-inhibiting effect of beer got to me at the graveside, and as I lay my flower on the casket, I burst out laughing so hard I peed my pants.  Of course, there is nothing like warm pee running down your legs to make you laugh harder, so, as everyone turned to stare at the fool by the grave, I emptied three cans of erstwhile beer down my legs and into the grave. 

By the time we got to the car, everyone was laughing historically.  When we finally got ourselves somewhat under control and able into get into the car, we drove to my house so I could change, and everyone else could pee properly in the toilet.  In an hour we were back at school, but not before everyone had heard the story.  It was several days before the catcalls of "I Piss on your grave," died down, but my reputation was made.  Suddenly, I had friends I never knew about.  After all, I was the guy who got the best of the bully.     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, KozmoFox said:

This is actually horrible. If it had been outright intentional, this would be a hell of a lot of caps lock, and a hell of a lot of screaming. You think this is funny? What is wrong with you?

A human life is a human life, and even if that guy had been a high school bully, he had potential to be so much more and he had friends and family who loved him and he was a fucking person.

I was bullied RELENTLESSLY in school to the point I had to be pulled out of public school multiple points! And, guess what happened? Stupid teenagers did that thing they do....they grew up! Learned from their mistakes and ways! Are good upstanding people now! I would never forgive them for the things they did but good god they are different people now, unlike your bully who will never get the chance. You know what he gets? Tears from parents who will be broken for the rest of their goddamn lives, a silent empty hole in every family gathering, toasts around the fire from old buddies that can't keep their voice from cracking because they can't help but remember the body that used to sit in that old camping chair nearby.

This was a human being. He is DEAD. His life has ended and will never resume. You pissed on his fuckin' grave and laughed about it for days. And then, you thought to yourself, hell this would make a great story to post on a fetish site, possibly with the intent for people to get off to it.

High school bully? Please. You just beat everything he ever did lumped together. This goes beyond what the word bullying can contain with its sheer disrespect. My words cannot convey my pure disgust, no matter how much I write. I hope someday you are able to look objectively upon your actions, feel ashamed of yourself, and atone for them. At least you have that chance.

With no love at all,

KozmoFox

I would never piss on someone's grave, but... I truly believe there are many things done in life that are so much worse than any kind of disrespect in death. After all, the victim is right there, alive and conscious and aware. There are many, many things contained in the word bullying which are so much worse than pissing on a grave. People kill themselves over bullying. Because they can't stand the pain. Of which they are 100 percent aware, since they're actually alive. The sheer disrespect which goes with deliberately destroying someone who is right there, is way beyond whatever indignity there is in pissing on a grave. If I have the choice between being disrespected in life or after I'm dead and gone and there is no "I" to speak of, I know which one I'd choose. Frankly I'm disgusted by the comparison. Ghosts don't cry.

That said, the whole story seems fake or embellished. And definitely a downer for someone coming to this forum looking to read hot tales of wetting and desperation. 

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46 minutes ago, AquaVitae said:

Yeah. This sucks. And I don't think you got the best of anyone. You literally waited until the moment where there was no chance they could fight back. Kind of cowardly, actually.

I'm so worried I'll shake a hornet's nest saying anything but I was about to say something along those lines, though... at the same time, they weren't planning to get back at him at his funeral, but the act of it actually happening could have easily seemed to them finally a revenge stroke that everyone there wanted. So... Cowardly? Yes, A proper 'getting back at them' moment? Possibly not, but. A relief in the minds of the people involved that they got SOME kind of little way to hit him with karmic backlash? Probably

Edited by Curiousanon (see edit history)
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Wait, did this actually happen? Did you really pee on the guys grave? This sounds awefully made up, but let's roll with that you did:

 

What

The fuck

Is WRONG with you?

You do not, and I repeat, you do NOT pee, violate, destroy or otherwise disrupt someone f@cking grave! It doesn't goddamn matter what the hell he did, a death is not something you joke around with. Think of the people that, oh I don't know, CARED for him? What if someone dislikes you and just fucking pisses all over your grave? I hope to god you made this up. As someone who recently lost someone near and dear to himself, this is a f@cking disgusting and disrespectfull story. For shame.

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9 minutes ago, AquaVitae said:

In my mind, karmic backlash equals dying young from drowning in freezing cold water.

Ok touché, I don't think I used it right, but more I meant the 'karmic backlash' more that that it would be that in the minds of the people, I feel like there's a word for it, but whilst technically the actual death of him would be closer to karma, but I'm using it in the method of that THEY THOUGHT of it like that, again I use the word Revenge Stroke.

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I'm with @KozmoFox on this one. 

The loss of a human life is always to be regretted. I mean this even when we accept it is necessary and be relieved that they are no longer around (e.g. Hitler, Bin Laden etc). I would never celebrate anyone's death.

Sure, in this case it was a borderline accident, and the "victim" is already dead and past caring. But the point is that the story was presented to us in a gloating, almost celebratory, manner. It would have been different if the viewpoint had been one of embarrassment and shame, apologetic for having done this crass thing in his youth.

If it were me I'd have been ashamed to the point of not telling the story at all, even on an anonymous forum like this.

I guess OP and I just have different values  

 

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On 1/9/2017 at 9:44 AM, facade said:

Triggering unpopular opinion alert:

I honestly think it's a bit silly to hate so much on this guy just because he released a bit of liquid on the dirt that was supposedly surrounding a deceased persons burial site. It's not as if he meant to harm the site or desecrate the remains. I imagine the graves are pissed on by animals as well.

I also think it definitely does have a place here as it describes a wetting. A rather unique one but still a wetting. Now if he had made a spectical of it and disrespected the grieving family and other loved ones that would be different, but as far as we know there was no real harm done. 

I actually agree with this.

Of course it's fucked up and completely wrong to piss on someone's grave, no matter how much of horrible person they may have been. No matter what, you need to have some sort of respect towards the deceased and their family members. 

But, as it seems, he did not do this on purpose at all. So I don't really see a reason to get my knickers in a bunch over it. (It's morally wrong, but I even snickered a little at the weirdness of this story.) Maybe a bit weird to post it here, but eh. I won't judge him for accidentally peeing on a bully's grave. If he'd done it on purpose then.. well, that's a whole different story. Laughing over it was disrespectful, but when drunk you don't always have a lot of control. 

 

Of course, this is just my opinion. Everyone's entitled to theirs.

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I legitimately gave this story an upvote strictly because KozmoFox had a moral meltdown in the very first response and it got 16 upvotes. You're all treating this as though it were some sort of war crime. Has anybody considered that people have been indirectly, and in some cases VERY directly, murdered by bullies?

 

I'm so mad I can't even begin to list all the atrocities that bully victims have to go through. Just...

 

Look, a neighbor of mine just died less than 24 hours ago, and I'm still gonna defend the OP. Hopefully that will help show how I feel about this.

Edited by Bachri (see edit history)
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While I'm not as horrified as some posters here about peeing on someone's grave, it is considered to be an act of extreme disrespect.  At one point in my career my duties included being present for burials in my local cemetery, and on more than one occasion during a lengthy graveside service, someone has needed to relieve themselves - in these cases someone who has had too much to drink.  I have told them to pee behind the equipment shed.  It's within the walls of the cemetery but far enough from the nearest grave.  

There is also an old joke about an Irishman who, on his deathbed, asked a dear friend to pour a pint of good whiskey on his grave each year on the anniversary of his death.  The friend readily agreed, but asked, "Is is alright if I pass it through my kidneys first?"

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