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A close call at work


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I’ve been meaning to write up loads of stuff for well over a year now, so I should really dedicate this to Equusquagga’s persistence in getting me to write it up! Apologies if it’s a little bit long winded. I’ll probably split it into two or three separate threads to keep each ‘story’ on its own so that any replies make sense.

I’ll start, then, with the one experience of my own that I’m going to share for now, from last year (no, the year before that now – 2015!). I was working nights that week, in a job where I was usually left to get on with it and enjoy the solitude. At the time, EQ was living abroad and having a pretty hard time of it, so we spent a lot of time talking whilst I was at work (workload permitting, of course!). This week was a particularly busy week of nights – this becomes significant later! – but I was still able to find time to talk.

On the night in question, then, I started my shift as I always started my shift, by putting the kettle on to make a cup of tea. I never used to take my own mug – wherever I had to go to work, there were plenty. Here, there was one mug that stood out from all the rest – a truly enormous ‘Sports Direct’ mug. Unsurprisingly, EQ had already suggested that I choose that one, as I’d shared a photo of it on the previous night! That’s the one I chose, then, and it wasn’t too long before I was reaching for the kettle again to make a second cup of tea.

Now, the nature of the job. I don’t want to give too much away (some of you might be able to work it out), but it was the sort of job where the workload varied quite a bit through the shift. It was generally possible to predict when things were going to have to be dealt with – we had a screen which showed the current state of things, and experience and knowledge allowed me to work out when it was likely to become my problem. Once it did become my problem, I had to deal with it in a timely manner and pass it on to the next person to deal with. When the time came, there wasn’t the option of putting it off for a minute or two – it had to be dealt with there and then, otherwise I’d never hear the end of it. Tonight, it looked like it was going to be fairly constant – as soon as (or even before) I’d finished dealing with one thing, I’d have another to start thinking about. I didn’t have formal breaks to rely upon – I was on our own, and it was up to me to juggle personal needs around the demands of the job.

So, three or four (big) mugs of tea later, with a couple of mugs of water thrown in too, we were well into the early hours of the next day. In fairness, the quietest bit of the night was probably just after midnight, I’d probably have found time to traipse downstairs to the outside toilet by now normally, but I was enjoying chatting with EQ (who was keen to discourage me from going downstairs!) and in any case it was cold outside. I was starting to really feel the pressure though, a strong, almost throbbing, pressure internally, so I refreshed the screen to have a look at when I might next have an opportunity. As it turned out – not for a while! Just to add to the challenge, I’d just ‘enjoyed’ a full mug – the huge mug – of water too. There was quite a lot happening in the next half an hour or so, so I’d probably have no choice but to struggle on – so, with little choice, that’s what I did!

It really was a struggle at times though. I couldn’t comfortably sit still, but then I couldn’t comfortably stand still either. The job involved a fair bit of standing up and moving around, and whenever I had to stand still for a while I found that I was almost hunched over, trying my best to always have something to lean on so that I could bend in the middle, preferably with one foot resting on a raised service to add to that effect. Writing (we didn’t do much, but what we did do involved standing at a desk) had to involve really quite excessive foot tapping, alternating from one to the other, to distract from the pressure, now taking over both internally and right there at the outlet too. When I could, I actually found myself resorting to kneeling on the floor. This really was becoming a crisis!

To make things worse, I refreshed the screen to find that the gap in proceedings that I was relying on wasn’t going to appear – I was going to be kept busy with something else that looked like it was going to happen earlier.  I kept myself busy with that, walking around, standing awkwardly or kneeling, and really hoping that I’d get a couple of minutes afterwards because it was really starting to hurt now.

Now, once I’ve dealt with each little package of work, it became someone else’s problem. Here, it only normally took a couple of minutes for them to take over and tell me that it wasn’t my problem any more. Sometimes, though, it’d take quite a few minutes longer than that, depending on how the next person needed to deal with it. The trouble was that we couldn’t always be sure how the next person was going to deal with it, and it really wasn’t a good time to start a conversation on the phone. “A few minutes longer” would mean that there’d be something else nearly ready for me to deal with, with something else right behind it, and there wasn’t a chance of making it through that too. On the other hand, it meant that I’d be able to run downstairs – if only I knew what was going to happen! I knew exactly what was going to happen if I didn’t do something soon though, and I really didn’t want that to happen at work. With that thought in mind, I decided that my only option really was to make a run for it, and hope for the best! The cold outside didn’t help me as I tumbled down the stairs, turned back on myself, threw the door open whilst trying to undo my trousers, fumbled briefly for the light, closed the door and struggled briefly with the lock (you never know!) before finally getting my belt unbuckled and top button undone – not a moment too soon, it seems, as the floodgates opened as I was still in the process of turning around to sit upon the pot (I thought that was a sensible precaution, as the pressure was so great that I couldn’t be sure that something else wouldn’t be unleashed at the same time!). I don’t think there was any ‘damage’ done, but it’s just as well that I did get there in time – there was no way that I was going to be able to stop the flow once it had started!

That, really, was that. I got back upstairs to find that all was (just) well, although it had taken me a good three minutes or so. As I thought, I had more stuff to deal with very soon afterwards, which kept me continuously busy for a good half an hour or so. A close call indeed

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There are lines of work that sometimes require continuous attention, perhaps at a computer terminal, and if the nearest toilet is some distance away, the person may find himself struggling to hold a very full bladder until the task is completed.  When I worked in an office, although the men's room wasn't that far, I had a habit of putting off having a pee, and sometimes I got to the toilet with little time to spare.  At our freight dock the toilets were quite a hike away.  Sometimes several trucks would arrive for unloading all at once, and a few times a crew member had to be officially reprimanded for taking an illicit leak between trucks or off the platform when they couldn't wait until they had finished unloading.

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