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Hi,

I'm just gonna throw this out there because my brain wants to play -Let's Screw With Buggy-

I'm wondering if there's anyone out there who is trans who wouldn't mind sharing their story with me/just chatting with me about it. I e been thinking about it a lot (not really about becoming male, more like wishing I'd been born male)

my family is extremely conservative and this is a VERY sensitive topic (like, if I buy a tee from the men's selection because I like the print they remind me that I'm a girl and should buy girl things, as there's plenty of selection for girls) I've never really done the boy/girl clothes thing to begin with. Jeans, hoodies, tees, and sneakers are pretty unisex and that's all I've really ever worn.

i can't tell if how I'm thinking/ what I'm feeling is just a general discomfort with myself, or if it's something worth the stress of integrating it as part of my identity. I guess that's why I'm looking for some open minds. I was raised to believe that you belong with the parts you're given and God doesn't make mistakes. I know God doesn't make mistakes... I don't know... 

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Well, I'm not trans, though some people have told me I am, I think of myself as a woman with a masculine brain.  All my life I've felt more comfortable with guys than with girls, and most of the friends I've had throughout my life have been guys, more shared interests.  I prefer manly activities, and wearing men's clothing, even underwear.  I'm with you on the jeans, tees, hoodies, and sneakers; that's what I'm wearing right now, actually.  Five years ago, I cut all my hair off, and took on a more androgynous appearance for awhile.  I even hid my breasts and went out as a guy sometimes.  I was cute, but no longer sexy, and decided to just go back to being a regular tomboy. 

I embrace my womanly body now.  I wear my hair long, and dye it fun colors.  I love my curves, even if I choose to hide them.  I paint my toenails.  Sometimes I still wish I was a guy on the outside, but I'm okay with not having the body.  My female body allowed me to be a mother, twice, after all, and my kids are what a cherish more than anything else.

Finding out who you are takes a lot of self-exploration, experimentation, and years of time.

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  • 4 months later...

Hey there @buggy2013 I'm a trans man and I'm very open about my transgender identity and journey and am definitely down to talking about things with you.

Just generally, I came out as trans officially a month before my 21st birthday (I'm 22 now), after a long struggle with my gender throughout my life. When I was in high school I identified as genderqueer, and then from 19-20 I started to identify as nonbinary, then transmasculine, until finally accepting being a trans man. I had similar thoughts too, where I would wish I was a guy but feeling like I had to deal with not being one. And it was absolutely miserable.

I was lucky enough to be raised in a family who wasn't super conservative and very much just "do whatever you want so long as you don't hurt anyone". But even so it took them a long time to come around to the idea (I distinctly remember times in high school where people would mistake me for a boy and she would get really upset and correct them and it made me think for a long time I wasn't allowed to be trans) so I get how hard it can be in an unsupportive environment and how terrifying it is to identify as trans at first because of this. But I've found over time that terror gives way to relief of finally being able to be who I truly am.

also I was never raised religiously but I attended a talk on my college campus where religious students sat and talked about their religions' views on queerness and queer rights, and there was one thing that really stuck with me. There was a girl representing Islam and she was asked how her religion viewed being transgender when it's thought that Allah doesn't make mistakes. And she had replied that while Allah doesn't make mistakes, He does give everyone a journey and hardships to get through in order to better understand yourself and others, and that if you're a transgender Muslim you can still fit in the religion by looking at your transness as part of that journey. Maybe that will help you in your own religious views ?

anyways feel free to come talk to me or ask me anything, I'm currently ~4-5 months on testosterone and have been living openly as a trans man since December 2015 :)

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