Dimwitrolo

Wet in the Wastelands

284 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Sorry about the delay guys; Been a bit busy since the last upload - New Years and the like. BUT: I'm back now, and I'll try to upload every other day. Also the messing content will be a second, separate post (still in this thread) under a spoiler because I can't figure out how to spoiler and unspoiler for the life of me. Although for this update it will be at the end of this post in a spoiler

Anyway, the story; Most votes went to the church, but you can always go to any of the other 4 afterwards, and Subway seems the most likely - it got the second most votes. So the girls are going into the abandoned church

 

The three girls can't quite decide which way would be best to go, and so decide to go into the old church, hoping to find someone who can help them. As they walk down the path toward the entrance, they notice the movements of silhouettes behind the windows, which appear to be human, dispelling fears of any mutant threat inside. The air is mostly silent around them, save the dull thuds of the distant artillery and the crunching sounds of their footsteps in the gravel below them. 

The girls reach the entrance to the church - two massive oak doors with black cast iron ring handles, rusted slightly with age. Julia pushes against the left door, using her whole body as leverage. At first the door doesn't move, though with some effort it begins to creak open, shuddering slightly as the rusted hinges grind open for what must be the first time in years.

'You know I'm getting second thoughts about this...' says Rachel, who is notably nervous. 'These doors haven't been opened in ages, how can there be people in there?'

Julia considers this, and decides to take a few steps back down the gravel path to get a better look at the church. The clock tower appears mostly undamaged, the grey bricks having withstood over 500 years of history and radioactive winds. The clock itself, with it's greying, pale face and rusted iron hands, is still working, which Julia only now begins to consider. To the left of the tower is the main hall of the church, the lead roof has mostly collapsed in, possibly the result of a stray shell from the city. The stone walls of the hall still stand as strong as they had done for the past few centuries, a testament to the builders who has put them there so long ago. The windows have not all fared so well, with some having been smashed in, some having fallen out, and only a handful still intact. There are no other ways into the church than the main oak doors....So how could the girls have seen silhouettes?

'W-well, we're here now, right?' Julia says to Rachel, the two of them becoming increasingly nervous. Jess seems less nervous however, which is understandable considering her shotgun. Pulling back on the wooden pump, Jess makes sure she has a round chambered

'I'll go first' she says. 'If it's clear I'll call you both in, if it's not...well, you'll know if it's not because I'll be either shooting or running away'

'Right' says Julia, slightly comforted, but now nervous for Jess's safety. 'You'll be alright, w-won't you?'

'I hope so' she answers

Julia pushes her back against the oak doors again, which grind open. Jess aims her shotgun down the open doors, glancing quickly up and down at what she can see inside. Taking another step back into the door, Julia opens them enough for Jess to step inside. Tentatively placing one foot against the cold stone floor, Jess aims her gun side to side, not taking the butt away from her shoulder for a second. The church's stone walls block out the sounds from outside, and the only sound in the entrance room is the gently ticking from the church clock and the quick breaths from Jess.

'Is it clear?' Julia whispers through the door, deciding not to open it further than she needs to.

'It looks good' Jess whispers back, not bringing her head away from her gun. 'I haven't seen inside the hall yet though, so stay there'. Taking another slow step forward, Jess leans around the wall and looks into the hall. The wooden pews seem untouched by age, though they seem very touched by the lead tiles from the roof that have fallen in, though the tiles themselves have all been moved to one side of the hall. A green carpet lines the aisle up to the altar, a wooden stand, angled at the top. The altar itself is on a raised platform, separated from the main hall by a wooden wall, about waist height, with an opening in the middle with two stone steps to get up. Behind the wall are the choir's pews and an organ. The choir's pews are in a similar pristine condition to the hall pews,, and the organ to the left of the altar seems to have been polished recently, it's pipes reflecting the light from the hole in the roof. Aside from this light, the room is mostly dark, with the tainted windows having acquired enough dirt on their outsides to block it out. The windows that are missing glass do not face the light, and little light comes through them. Jess relaxes a little, and steps into the middle of the aisle, though still in line with the door, toward the steps that lead up the tower. With each step her bare feet slap gently against the stone, in time with the clock upstairs.

'How can it be so clean?' Jess questions out loud, but still whispering. There doesn't seem to be any immediate answer, no-one appears to be inside. Looking up Jess sees a second floor, a balcony going around the side and back walls of the church, over looking the pews and altar. She sees no movement however. 'O-okay, come in' she whispers to the other two.

Julia steps inside, pistol in her hand, just in case. Rachel follows, the nozzle to her bile pump fixed to the canister on her back, leaving her effectively unarmed. 

'Right, Julia' begins Jess. 'I'll check upstairs, you and Rachel look around for anything. I can't see anyone around, but I'll shout to you if something happens'

'B-but we saw the shadows outside' mutters Rachel, becoming increasingly scared at the lack of people inside. 'You d-don't think this place is haunted, d-do you?' the other two don't answer Rachel's question, but the thought puts them both on edge. Rachel by now is shaking slightly, her face pale.

'Come on Rach, with me' whispers Julia, gesturing toward herself as she begins to move down the hall. Jess begins to go upstairs, and the moment her foot touches the first step the three girls hear something - the sound of movement comes from upstairs, like a birds wings flapping but much louder, and moving quickly from the close end of the hall to the other, then stopping. The girls freeze, Rachel hugging herself in fear, Julia clutching her pistol. Jess looks back to the girls, who don't move, aside from Rachel's shivering. Jess goes to take another step, when another loud flapping shatters the silence, and a dark blue figure drops behind the altar. Rachel squeeks in fear, her legs slamming together as her whole body tenses up. Jess takes her foot of the steps and heads over to Rachel and Julia, neither of whom are moving. Julia slowly brings her pistol up, aiming down the aisle. Jess has her shotgun aimed squarely down the aisle at the altar. None of the three girls dare breath as they wait

Behind the altar, two wings slowly emerge, spreading their full span of around three meters over the course of twenty seconds, though the owner of the wings is still hidden behind the altar. The wings are a greyish blue, and look more like a bat's wings than a bird's. A cold sweat makes it's way down Rachel's back, her rapid heartbeat just about audible in the silence. The figure behind the altar rises, and as the first glimpse of it passes the top of the altar, Jess and Julia hear a thud behind them, making them jump, Julia dropping her pistol to the floor. Swinging their heads behind them, the two girls see Rachel on the floor, having fainted. Julia scrambles to the floor for her gun, and Jess brings her shotgun to her shoulder again. The figure's head emerges from behind the altar, revealing it to be a girl's head, but blue. The eyes of the head are massive, and the head has large ears, but it otherwise looks human. The face looks over at Jess and Julia, who both have guns aimed directly at her, and smiles, her grin revealing two fangs. Reaching her full height, the girl steps around the altar and begins to walk down the aisle. The girl herself appears to be a little younger than Julia, about the height and size of Jess. She is wearing a tattered dress and black thigh-high semi-transparent stockings. Instead of arms the girl has two wings, still outstretched.

Part14Wasteland.JPG

'S-s-stay th-there!' Jess forces herself to say, her voice quivering with fear. Wh-who are you? Wh-what do you want?'

Upon hearing this, the girl stops, folding her wings in at the elbows, her smile fading in to a look of slight confusion

'You-you can speak English?' the girls asks, sounding notably confused, though not even a trace of fear is in her voice.

'Wh-what? O-of course we do...what else would we speak?' Jess answers, gaining confidence as she stares at the girl down the barrel of her shotgun.

'Oh' says the girl, bringing the tip of one wing to her mouth, looking very contemplative. 'I never knew you ground-walkers could speak English...I didn't know you could even speak' she chuckles. 'Usually whenever we see your kind they're asleep, this is the first time one of you has ever come to us that I remember...'

'What-what do you mean us?' Julia asks. 'How many of you are here?'

'Just me here today. The others are in one of the city towers' She answers, surprisingly bluntly, almost as if she expected the girls to be familiar with them. 'I think some ground walkers are trying to shoot at them with those big guns' she says. 'I always wondered why they do that...' she begins to trail off. 'What's wrong with your friend on the floor there? Did she die?' the girl asks innocently

'What- oh Rachel' Julia begins, glancing over to her, Rachel dribbling slightly on the stone floor, gently snoring. 'She should be fine. I hope'

'Why did you do that to use?' Jess interrupts. 'That whole scary thing, where you slowly come out like that?'

'It's funny!' the girl laughs. 'Most of you ground walkers run so fast when we do stuff like this' she says. 'Sometimes they scream, and one time we had about six girls all wet themselves at once before they ran' she laughs as she tells the girls. ' They all ran to the door at once, two of them ran into each other and fell over on top of each other and couldn't get up for like a minute so they peed all over each other. Ohh, that one was funny........never had someone die like her though'

'She's not dead' says Julia, becoming increasingly concerned for Rachel's health. 'She just fainted'. Rachel seems to hear this, her eyes opening slowly, gently pushing herself off the floor

'Ohhwhohh.... what happened?...' Rachel asks, dazed. She looks around, coming to surprisingly quickly as she realises she's still in the church. 'w-w-w-we have to lea-' she begins

'Hello!' the girl interrupts, waving a wing toward her.

'I-I-I-I-...er...hi?...' Rachel responds, her eyes wide in fear. 'Wh-who are you?'

'What do you mean 'who am I'? I'm me' the girl asks, as if it was obvious

'She means what is your name' Julia clarifies, most of her fear having dissipated

'What's a 'name'?' the girl asks, confused.

'Never mind' Says Jess, a little exasperated. 'Look, what can you tell us about this city? We need to know where it's safe to go'

'And if there's a toilet nearby' Rachel pipes up

'Toy-let?' the girl asks, again confused. Rachel dismisses her with her hand. 'The city though... I guess the subway would be safe, but I've never been in there. There's a whole bunch of interesting stuff in the city though! There's this one raider camp full of ground-walkers who trade other ground-walkers, there's the abandoned street which has a huge snake which eats people, and there's the big guns that the other ground-walkers keep shooting. Sometimes they shoot at us, but usually they use it to fight of raiders.'

'How can you know all this but not know that we speak English?' Jess asks

'Never tried speaking to any of you' The girl answers. 'Usually your kind either shoots at us or just runs away...Or wets themselves!' she laughs at the last one, that one event having clearly tickled her. 'C-could I go with you?' She asks when she stops giggling

'I, um, what? With us? Won't the others of you mind?' asks Julia.

'I'll leave a note' she responds. 'They won't be too bothered'

'S-sure' Answers Julia

'Great!' yelps the girl, happy to finally explore the city. 'So, where are we going?'

A: Subway - The girl doesn't know what's down there, and nor do Julia, Jess or Rachel. Could be anything, but it is underground'

B: Artillery - The artillery is manned by settlers, the girl explains. They should be friendly so long as none of the girls try to start any fights

C: Empty - The empty street is inhabited by a massive, man eating serpent, according to the girl. This would explain why it is so empty...

D: Raider camp - The girl explains that this street is a raider stronghold in the city, which the settlers occasionally fire at. The raiders here are people traffickers, so the girls could attempt to free any slaves, but there is likely to be a lot of them

 

'So what should we call you?' Rachel asks the girl. 'My name is Rachel, and these two are Julia and Jess'

'Call me what you like' the girls responds

 

Thanks for putting up with the wait, sorry it took so long, like I say I've been a little busy. Messing content comes after this, no illustration for it yet mind, but I'll do one next time when I put it in a seperate post. Vote for your choice as usual

Also: Chose a name for the girl - Anything goes

 

'Anyway' says Rachel to the other two 'I do still need to find a toilet. I can really feel it building up now...' 

'Thanks for telling us' says Julia. 'I sure did want to know that' she adds, dripping with sarcasm

'I wouldn't usually say, but I really need to go....' she adds, bending at the knees slightly as she does.

Edited by Dimwitrolo
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I'll vote for A and I don't have any creative talent so I won't bother with trying to name the girl :/

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I vote B.

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A

I can't really think of a good name for her :/

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I'll go B and I think Rivera has a nice ring to it.

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24 minutes ago, pumpkin juice said:

I'll go B and I think Rivera has a nice ring to it.

I like this name 

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I'll choose B. As for the winged one's name, how about Faratina?

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I'll say B, see if we can gather some support/cover fire for an attack on the slavers. 

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I'll go A and third Rivera.

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Update tommorow, I got a whole bunch of requests - by which I mean 3 - so they should be up on the art and douijinshi thread tommorow as well

should be...

Vote has gone to A, and the winged girls is to be called Rivera

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Posted (edited)

Hang on, trying to figure this site out

Good work DimwitRolo, you just managed to lose everything you wrote. Start again.

 

Edited by Dimwitrolo
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C, Rachel doesn't seem to be in a position to run.  

For the optional can we tell Rivera if she wants to learn to hold she should wait a bit longer.  

We should also try to support Rachel as we're walking so she can focus on holding her needs

(The spoilers within spoilers was a bit confusing.  I'm not sure if that was intentional or not)

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Posted (edited)

11 minutes ago, Nikeryda said:

C, Rachel doesn't seem to be in a position to run.  

For the optional can we tell Rivera if she wants to learn to hold she should wait a bit longer.  

We should also try to support Rachel as we're walking so she can focus on holding her needs

(The spoilers within spoilers was a bit confusing.  I'm not sure if that was intentional or not)

Wow, you were fast, in the time it took you to read it I've already fucked up and deleted it all by mistake. You're one of the few people who ever got to read that story line.

New story should be up soon

Edited by Dimwitrolo
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1 hour ago, Dimwitrolo said:

Wow, you were fast, in the time it took you to read it I've already fucked up and deleted it all by mistake. You're one of the few people who ever got to read that story line.

New story should be up soon

 

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This should be the second story you're reading now: When I was trying to post it first time around, with spoilers, I managed to delete the whole thing. Fun fact, each section takes about 1-2 hours to write, so that's 1-2 hours down the drain. So I'm re-writing it. Here we go, hopefully this time I don't delete it

As far as spoilers go, Ill post a spoiler at the end of the story, with numbered sections. If you want to read the spoiler'd part, you'll have to go over to it whenever I post a number. So when you see [1], you'll want to scroll down to the spoiler, then scroll back up before the next sections (which will probably be [2]). I cannot figure out how to make spoilers work otherwise, which is going to make this upcoming section a whole lot of fun...

Any way, let's go!

 

'So' begins Rachel. 'What do we call you?' she asks the winged girl

'Anything you want really. Nothing rude though' She answers

'How about Rivera? That sounds nice, I think' Rachel suggests.

'Why Rivera?' asks Jess

'Don't you like it?' Rachel asks her, sounding a little insulted

'No, I just wanted to know why'

'Rivera's nice!' the winged girl interrupts, grinning proudly at her new title

'Rivera it is then!' Julia confirms, and thus her name is Rivera. 'Right then, let's get over to that subway'

[1] - Go to the spoiler for this part, then come back. Or don't, up to you I guess.

If you're here, you're back from the spoiler or you don't want to go. Either's good, let's continue...

The four girls reach the station in about five minutes, looking out one last time to gauge the time of day before they go underground. It looks to be mid-late afternoon, they ought to find a place to camp soon-ish. Rachel, Julia and Jess decide to all give one can of food each to Rivera, and the four girls now all have three cans, which they'll reduce to two when they find a place to stop and eat. The four girls head down into the station

At the bottom of the stairs the girls enter the ticket hall, a room about two and half meters tall, with a yellow-tiled floor, and walls lined with ticket booths and shops. The room is divided by a line of entrance barriers, the ancient plastic doors somehow still in place.

'Should we get a ticket?' Jess asks, looking over to the glass booths, half of them empty, half of them manned by skeletons. 

'I don't know, I don't trust those skeletons' Julia answers. 'Have a quick look around for anything useful, then we'll head down'

'Look!' Rivera pipes up; 'Is that a toilet?' she asks, pointing to a yellow plastic bin on the wall. 'Somewhere for Rachel to go!'

'Why would there be a toilet out in the open like this?' Jess asks her. 'Everyone could see you going. Speaking of going, where do you go if not in toilets?'

'Usually any where. We don't wear anything under our dress, so we just pee where ever is out the way'

'What if you need to, uh, do more than just pee?' Rachel asks

'More or less the same thing' Rivera answers. 'Except a little further out the way. Why?'

[2] - Back to the spoiler

'Right then, we better get moving' Julia says. 'We'll have to jump over these barriers, then just head downstairs. The map on the wall says we're at the last station on the green line, so there's only one way to go'

'What if we get caught?' Jess asks

'Get caught doing what?'

'Jumping over the barrier without a ticket'

'Jess, the security staff have been dead for a couple hundred years. I'm sure they won't be too bothered by four girls hopping over without tickets'

'Okay' says Jess. 'But if anyone does come, you're the one who can explain it to them'

Julia looks at Jess for a minute, then the four girls move. Julia hops over first, her bare feet pounding into the dust, sending a cloud of dust into the air. Next is Jess, who's hoodie flies open as she slides over the ticket machine, her feet slapping against the floor on the other side and sending up more dust. Rivera flaps her wings and clears the ticket door by a couple of meters, her dresss flying over her head. She slips when she lands and falls on her backside where she can't see anything with her dress over her head. Rachel is next, and she hops over without issue, her dress flying up and showing off her new shorts before her boots slam into the tiled floor, breaking one of the yellow tiles. Rivera climbs to her feet, hoping the other three didn't notice her. The four girls jog down the stairs and onto the station

'Is this a good place to stop and eat?' Rivera asks

'Uhh, no. No it is not' Julia answers. 'It's not even dark outside'

'Yeesh, I'm huungry!' Rivera complains.

'What does your kind even eat?' Jess asks. 'With fangs like that you look kinda like vampires'

'For a snack we might eat the occasional small animal, but mostly we drink some blood from larger animals. Not too much mind, just a little' Rivera explains. 'On one hand it means we need to pee a lot - like right now - on the other it means we don't gain much weight'

'So you just pee where ever usually?' Jess asks again, to confirm

'Yeah. But I thought if I'm with you three I'll try to use toy-lets like you do'

'Also you might want to start wearing pants' Julia adds. 'Can't have you flashing everyone all the time'

'I haven't got hands' Rivera points out, tapping her wing-tips together. 'How would I put them on'

'We could help you' Julia says. 'And we'll take them down when you need to pee'

'Not sure I like that...' Rivera says

'We can't have you in just that dress Rivera, you'll attract attention' Julia explains. 'Bad attention.'

'ugh, fine' Rivera accepts. 'Is there anything I can eat?' she asks, changing the conversation.

'I might have a chocolate biscuit in my bag' Julia answers, as she starts to look inside it

'A whatlate thingit?' Rivera asks, confused.

'Chocolate. Biscuit' Julia says. 'Here' she says, holding one out

'Oh come on, it's already dead'. Rivera sighs, disappointed. 'It's not fun if you don't get to chase it first'

'It never was alive Rivera. It's a biscuit.' Julia says. Looking at Rivera, she can see she looks a little glum. 'I could chuck it for you, pretend it's alive'

Rivera's eyes light up at this suggestion, and Julia lobs the biscuit down the tracks. Rivera leaps after it, her wings throwing up dust from the floor as she does. A gentle pat signals the biscuit hitting the floor, and a less gentle thump signals Rivera landing on top of it. The other three girls, bemused by this, carry on walking over to her, as she picks it up in her wings and takes a bite, grinning with pride.

Part15Wasteland.JPG

[3] - Back you go

The four girls carry on down the tracks, Rivera nibbling on the biscuit as they do. The tracks are fairly dark, though illuminated by the occasional yellowing service lights on the walls. The floor itself is gravel, with wooden sleepers holding the steel rails. Jess, Julia and Rivera take care to only step on the smooth wooden sleepers, not wanting to hurt themselves if any sharp gravel sticks into their feet. Rachel's boots let her walk where she wants, her shorts, now in her hand, bashing against her legs as she does so

'How much further do you think it'll be now?' Asks Rivera

'No idea' answers Julia. 'What makes you ask?'

'I *Really* have to pee!' Rivera answers, pressing her wingtips against her crotch as she does. Usually by now I'd be peeing where I stood! I can almost feel myself peeing right now!'

'You are peeing right now' Julia answers, pointing to Rivera who has unwittingly let a small stream out, which hits the floor and splatters against her socks

'Yeep!' Rivera yelps, tensing her whole body to stop the flow

'You only let a little out, you can hold it' Julia reassures her. She doesn't feel quite so certain about Rachel however, and she looks over to her to see her with an expression of raw concentration

[4] - You know the drill

'We better hurry then' says Julia, as she looks back at Rivera, who is doing her best to not pee again. 'You could just go on the floor Rivera' she adds

'I could, but then I won't get used to holding it in for when I wear clothes'

'Fair enough I guess, we should hurry to the next stop'

They should hurry, right?

A: Yes, run! - The girls will run to the next stop. Julia, Jess and Rivera don't have shoes, so they have to be careful, and might trip over if they run. Running would also put pressure on the desperate girls, which could make them have an accident. If they make it though, they'll have more time to look for a toilet

B: Yes, but jog - Running is too risky, someone might trip. But jogging is safer, though slower. The girls use less energy jogging, but still enough that they might have accidents

C: No, carry on walking - Running is too risky, someone might fall or have an accident. Best to walk

OPTIONAL

1: Tell Rivera to just go anywhere - She might as well, no underwear to soak. Though she'll have to try harder to learn to hold it.

2: Tell Rachel to go anywhere - She hates doing that sort of thing out in the open, but does she have a choice? If she does she'll be fine, if she doesn't agree to go then the girls will waste time arguing 

 

[1] 'Can we make it quick?' Rachel asks, a sense of urgency on her voice. 'I really have to go. Badly.' A gently rumble from Rachel's stomach confirms her story. Julia nods, and the girls, realising Rachel's need, decide to hurry a little. (END)

[2] 'I was wondering why you'd suggesting going in a bin is all' Rachel says. 'Anyway, let's keep an eye out for one, I really...I really have to-' Rachel cuts herself off with some laboured breaths. 'Hn, I really have to go....hnn...Getting hard to hn..hold it in' Rachel bends over slightly, putting her hands on her knees for support. 'Hnnnn!' Her face flushes red, and it appears that she's either pushing as hard as she can, or she's holding it in as hard as she can.

'So what, did you just give up?' Julia asks her, a little shocked

'nnn-No! I can't help it! I'm trying to hold it! Hnn!' Rachel's breathing quickens, and after another ten seconds of urgent gasps, she straightens up again. 'We better hurry!' (END)

[3] As they catch up to her, Rachel bends at the knees again, as another wave of desperation hit. At first Rachel is quiet, pushing out a breath harshly, but with each harder push she begins to moan

'Hnn.....Hnnn!....HNNnnn!' Rachel begins to tear up a little as she has to force her body to stop her from messing herself. She stands silent for a moment, hand clutching her stomach, face red and eyes closed. She begins to open her eyes, and her stomach rumbles audibly. 

'I think that's the-HNNNNG!!!' Rachel almost flips herself over as she bends intensely at the waist, straining with all her strength to keep clean. Her body shudders for a moment, and the tunnels fall silent, until Rachel sighs loudly. 

'I won't last much longer' she admits. She slides off her shorts as she says this

'Are you going to go on the floor?' Jess asks, a little shocked

'No, I'm putting my wet panties back on. Don't want to ruin these new shorts if I can't make it' Rachel explains. As she pulls her panties up, she almost yelps as the icy cold cotton clamps itself against her body. 'L-let's keep going' (END)

[4] Rachel freezes in place again, bent over at the waist. She looks up at Julia, her eyes begging for help, before they clamp shut and-

'HNNNNNGG!' Rachel's whole body shudders before freezing still. The three girls look at her, silence filling the tunnel. A growl from inside Rachel interrupts the silence, followed by another moan

'HNNNNNN!!! HnNNN!!!'

Rachel gasps for air, before-

'HNNNN!!!'

Rachel shudders again, but manages to catch her breath'I have to do something!' Rachel manages to say. 'Not long left before I-HNNNNNNN!' Rachel shudders violently, then draws still again

'Oh jeez, I felt it that time, i-i-t nearly came out....We have to hurry - I don't have long!' (END)

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13 minutes ago, Nikeryda said:

 

I can't tell if I love you or hate you. It's kinda both

(It's all love baby and you know it)

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11 minutes ago, Dimwitrolo said:

I can't tell if I love you or hate you. It's kinda both

(It's all love baby and you know it)

This is in my top 3 favorites so I always jump on updates.

(Pro tip make the numbers colored so we can find them again easier)

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I say A, and for the optional choice, tell Rivera to just go.

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1 hour ago, Nikeryda said:

C, Rachel doesn't seem to be in a position to run.  

For the optional can we tell Rivera if she wants to learn to hold she should wait a bit longer.  

We should also try to support Rachel as we're walking so she can focus on holding her needs

(The spoilers within spoilers was a bit confusing.  I'm not sure if that was intentional or not)

Pretty much the same thing for me

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I can't get enough of your art and writing style, and it's all so cute. Plus you manage to blend omorashi/etc. with story and character development very well in my opinion. I hope you always find the time to continue this! 

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12 hours ago, Nikeryda said:

C, Rachel doesn't seem to be in a position to run.  

For the optional can we tell Rivera if she wants to learn to hold she should wait a bit longer.  

We should also try to support Rachel as we're walking so she can focus on holding her needs

 

That sounds good.

 

I absolutly loved the part about the "dead" biscuit.

That is such a fantastic detail, great job!

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I'll say C, and 1.

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