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Riality

Gender-confusion

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I was born a girl, grew up using feminine pronouns and still identify as a female. I've been noticing lately, however, that I don't use feminine pronouns anymore when talking about myself. For example, I'd say that I'm an actor, but not an actress, although I do identify as female. If I was asked for my actual gender, I'd say female, since that's what I identify as.  And I have absolutely no problem with referring to myself as lesbian instead of just going by gay, which also applies to females. It's just that I don't use feminine words when describing myself. And that's what kind of confuses me, as I want to be female, and I have no idea what I would be f not female.

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well to be honest, to me, (I have absolutely no knowledge in these fields however) It seems more of a language/verbal issue rather than a gender based one. You clearly state that you are (physically) female, think of yourself as female and refer to yourself as female. You seem to have no issues with your gender at all.

 

Only thing is you refer to certain things (like your job) in the generic term, rather than the gender specific. Seems really more like a language/grammar thing than anything else. 

But again I am no expert in gender, language or neuroscience.

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So, if you actually want to be female and identify as female, doesn't that just mean that you are female?

 

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To be honest, if you don't seem to have any significant issues identifying as a female presently, I see no reason to change that. Silly societal boundaries are not law and thus breaking them is perfectly fine, without the need to re-evaluate the fact that you are a woman.

I may sound biased being a man who has a beard and is heterosexual, thus more easily fitting some stereotypes, but I dislike motor vehicles, typical sports and alcohol without feeling conflicted about the fact that I was born biologically a boy to become a man.

I hope this helps.

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I'm going to have to agree with these people who have already answered

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Like embraceprogres said, it sounds more like a language issue to me as well. You seem to not have problems with identifying yourself as a female. Maybe those words just sound too feminine to you? Because you don't have to feel super feminine to identify as a woman. So you don't have to use every feminine word if you don't want to.

And hey, think about this: some languages are more gender neutral - for example in my language there even aren't gender based personal pronouns (so one word instead of he/she). The word for actress sounds kind of old-fashioned as well, everyone just uses the word for actor. You can use gender neutral words for very long without anyone to notice. So how do you think you'd feel like if your language was like this?

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Yeah. It seems like you mostly just have a language issue. I've never really used the feminine term (actress, and the such) before either. Mostly just use the one commonly used.

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It's a language thing most likely.   Or a hidden subconscious thing. 

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It could be a position statement, without the position being gender. I've come across this as well where in certain situations, despite being perfectly fine with being female, that I would prefer male pronouns or titles.

Some words are simply more empowering than others, they carry a weight with them. In a relatively male-dominated society, it can lead to the desire to be associated with certain words that are typically reserved for the make gender due to their implications. It doesn't mean that you'd like to be a male, simply shown the same respect/courtesy/stature as a male in your position would be shown. Are there words that are equivalent to each other, only gendered. Sure; actor/actress is a great example. But for some the word 'actor' carries more weight, similar to how 'doctor', 'lawyer', 'carpenter', and so on could be male or female. It seems fit to wonder what the implications are behind the gender divide in other titles.

thats how I see all of this anyway.

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I agree too that this comes from language, but from a different angle.

You know how humanity is referred to as "mankind" or just "man?" Many words, being focused on males, have come off into casual language. When referring to several actors, you'd still call them actors as opposed to "actors and actresses." In addition to the fact that female words are mostly longer versions of male words- WOman stewardESS, actRESS, even FEmale, the male terms are generally easier to say. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just the way that it is. 

Lately, people (especially feminists) have been using more neutral terms- police officer instead of policeman,etc.,  which just adds to the above. Once again, don't worry, anyone who judges you by it is worth judging on their own.

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Perhaps the reason behind your not using female indicators when talking about yourself is because you identify as being equal. Being equal should have nothing to do with gender or gender preference. Yet words/pronouns immediately paint us into a picture as diminutive or not. Some(most?) people are happy with that. Others just want to be accepted as a person. What do you think, am I off track with this?

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