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Disorder/Disability bullying rage


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Since this isn't an omo related thing and i'm not sure where else to discuss it, if there is a better place for me to talk about this let me know.

I wanted to talk about disorders and disabilities, I know this is a hard topic for many to discuss, but I really wanna see how many people know how serious these things are. Years ago, many many many years ago, when I was in 3rd grade, the bullying I went through was horrible ( still is, ik people are gonna ask, I'm 18, still in school). It got to the point where I was diagnosed with TTM Disorder ( Trichotillomania ) if you don't know what that is, its a disorder that involves recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out body hair. It's a very common disorder due to stress and anxiety and depression. Me being the victim of bullying for 13 years, it caused me to have this disorder, leaving me without eyelashes or eyebrows. Ik they say the cure is antidepressants or counseling, but I been trying to get forced on them for years and I don't think medication should be my first and only option. I've had therapy but I don't like being talked down to like i'm 5 every time i go in there like always, and don't get me wrong, I have been to more than 1, but they all treat me like i'm a baby, which doesn't help me at all, plus they are paid people to listen to my problems, but don't really help me in any way. I still get bullied for it, course I never told people it was a disorder, I just said my eyebrows and lashes are really blonde so you can't see them, but people found out either way. It hurts for me to get made fun of for my disorder, and seeing many people in my school or anywhere get made fun of for their disorders or disabilities, it's heartbreaking to me, every time I see it i'm the only person to do something about it because no one should get made fun of, disability/disorder or not, it isn't right. I wanna hear anyone's story about these kind of issues, I have a couple more to share but I don't wanna make this super long. Let me know what your opinion is on all of these things.

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Hi,

I do not have much to share in the area of bullying but I can tell you when I was younger, like before 10th grade, I really cared what people thought and that seemed to make me more attuned to peoples' critical comments.  I remember times when I was really hurt by what people said, however, at some point I stopped caring what people thought and oddly it was like they knew.  While a hokey example, it was like predators that can smell fear, once I no longer cared what people thought, it was like any bullying went away.  I do not know a better way to describe it, sorry, maybe what upset me when I was younger would seem trivial to the bullying you are experiencing.

I should note that it was not that I acted like I did not care, I just really did not care any more.  

Now I never experienced any physical bullying so I can offer little advice on that issue if that is where you are at.

Um.. so if you would like to chat I would be more than happy to.  I just feel odd posting much more about myself in this regard on an open forum.

I am not a shrink or anything, actually my work is as a physicist, so I am rather analytical.

In regards to the last part of your post, "every time I see it i'm the only person to do something about it because no one should get made fun of," while I have not had the opportunity to intervene when someone was getting made fun of for a disability/disorder, I have when I have seen a manager obviously bullying a sales clerk.  It is amazing how fast a bully will back down when a third party intervenes.

 

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26 minutes ago, Ood said:

Hi,

I do not have much to share in the area of bullying but I can tell you when I was younger, like before 10th grade, I really cared what people thought and that seemed to make me more attuned to peoples' critical comments.  I remember times when I was really hurt by what people said, however, at some point I stopped caring what people thought and oddly it was like they knew.  While a hokey example, it was like predators that can smell fear, once I no longer cared what people thought, it was like any bullying went away.  I do not know a better way to describe it, sorry, maybe what upset me when I was younger would seem trivial to the bullying you are experiencing.

I should note that it was not that I acted like I did not care, I just really did not care any more.  

Now I never experienced any physical bullying so I can offer little advice on that issue if that is where you are at.

Um.. so if you would like to chat I would be more than happy to.  I just feel odd posting much more about myself in this regard on an open forum.

I am not a shrink or anything, actually my work is as a physicist, so I am rather analytical.

In regards to the last part of your post, "every time I see it i'm the only person to do something about it because no one should get made fun of," while I have not had the opportunity to intervene when someone was getting made fun of for a disability/disorder, I have when I have seen a manager obviously bullying a sales clerk.  It is amazing how fast a bully will back down when a third party intervenes.

 

Yea, i totally get it, i hate that stuff too especially at work places, i was one of those people too last week at my work because what happened broke my heart that i cried at my desk once it was over. Also don't apologize, every story has a different meaning through it all, it doesn't bother me, i'm glad you made it through and learned to not care about what others think anymore, i always find that a big step.

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21 minutes ago, Brittanybunny said:

Yea, i totally get it, i hate that stuff too especially at work places, i was one of those people too last week at my work because what happened broke my heart that i cried at my desk once it was over. Also don't apologize, every story has a different meaning through it all, it doesn't bother me, i'm glad you made it through and learned to not care about what others think anymore, i always find that a big step.

Hm, I guess I never feel heart broken when I am in a situation like that, normally it makes me feel good when I help someone like that.  I just assume that I have helped the person being bullied feel better by helping them.  Do you think my assumption is incorrect?  Feel free to be honest with your answer, I am more interested in your opinion than feeling good about myself.

So are you making it through it or in the middle of it?  

Edited by Ood (see edit history)
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Guest tortoise

Hi,

I don't want to reveal too much, but I'm disabled. Most of the Internet knows that, as well as my school background and such. At school I was alienated because of my disability  - was never talked to, and only had a couple friends. I still don't have many friends now and yeah, it can be hurtful. What helped me was moving to a different school where there was a wider range of people and a dedicated area for those with disabilities. I guess it helped me to see that there were people worse off than I was and still being able to get on with life - helped me embrace my differences. Sure, when I'm out and about I do get stared at and stuff. But I just took it that if people stare, it's not always maliciously - just curiosity. And, if I didn't have the disabilities I do have, I wouldn't be the "Chlo the Crazy Mofo" that I am today. So I like being disabled, in a weird way.

-- Still doesn't stop me from wishing I could walk faster/further/without pain, though!

I guess, sadly, if you're disabled you do have to develop that "fuck it all" attitude, as hard as it can be. I agree, though, it's so irritating when professionals and stuff patronise you/talk to you like a baby just because you have some issues!

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Another story to share of mine, not what happened to me, but a teenager at my work last week.  I was so close to risking loosing my job at the tennis court when a father and a his son, around 17-18 years old, who i learned has Autism, is yelling at him, calling him an embarrassment, saying he has no focus or brains to play the game, saying "what? you can't handle the f******* criticism?! gotta live with it!" and kept mentally beating him down. He took a break and i was whispering to the guy because i am not gonna talk about someone's disability right in front of them out loud and offend someone, but that didn't stop this guy, he isn't even whispering and his son is a few feet away telling me how his son is autistic and can't focus on things when he teaches him and it pisses him off. I looked him in the eye and said "I'm gonna say this, you can NOT and should NOT be yelling at your son over a game of tennis, even if he can't hit the ball the way you practiced with him, if he is playing the game and having fun like he is now that you are not in there yelling, then that's what matters, autistic kids need praise and patience to know they can do things" he laughed at me when i said patience, he thought it was a joke, saying he will never learn if he doesn't listen i told him " Your son is bright, and i have met people who are Autistic, you can't yell at them over the littlest things they do that make them happy, yelling at him isn't gonna make anything easier for him or help him focus or learn, it is gonna make things difficult for him and he will think that everything he does makes him a failure, so calm down and stop yelling at him when he has no control over it" i told my boss about it when they left and apparently this guy has been treating his Autistic son like this since he was around 4-6 years old, yelling at him, making fun of him, making him feel like a failure in front of people. I wanted to punch the jerk in the face because no one who is Autistic or has any disability should be treated like they are animals, they are human, his father is no human, he is the filthy animal for mentally abusing his disabled son for years for something that he can't control and didn't ask for. I talked to the boy, he smiled at me and asked me my name and if i ever played tennis, and he opened himself up, when his dad was yelling at him as i was in their court bringing in chairs, every time he hit the ball i told him great job, because he was ready to cry by how horrible his dad was, when they left i sat at my desk crying, and even went home and sobbed into my pillow because that shit makes me so upset.

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1 hour ago, Brittanybunny said:

Another story to share of mine, not what happened to me, but a teenager at my work last week.  I was so close to risking loosing my job at the tennis court when a father and a his son, around 17-18 years old, who i learned has Autism, is yelling at him, calling him an embarrassment, saying he has no focus or brains to play the game, saying "what? you can't handle the f******* criticism?! gotta live with it!" and kept mentally beating him down. He took a break and i was whispering to the guy because i am not gonna talk about someone's disability right in front of them out loud and offend someone, but that didn't stop this guy, he isn't even whispering and his son is a few feet away telling me how his son is autistic and can't focus on things when he teaches him and it pisses him off. I looked him in the eye and said "I'm gonna say this, you can NOT and should NOT be yelling at your son over a game of tennis, even if he can't hit the ball the way you practiced with him, if he is playing the game and having fun like he is now that you are not in there yelling, then that's what matters, autistic kids need praise and patience to know they can do things" he laughed at me when i said patience, he thought it was a joke, saying he will never learn if he doesn't listen i told him " Your son is bright, and i have met people who are Autistic, you can't yell at them over the littlest things they do that make them happy, yelling at him isn't gonna make anything easier for him or help him focus or learn, it is gonna make things difficult for him and he will think that everything he does makes him a failure, so calm down and stop yelling at him when he has no control over it" i told my boss about it when they left and apparently this guy has been treating his Autistic son like this since he was around 4-6 years old, yelling at him, making fun of him, making him feel like a failure in front of people. I wanted to punch the jerk in the face because no one who is Autistic or has any disability should be treated like they are animals, they are human, his father is no human, he is the filthy animal for mentally abusing his disabled son for years for something that he can't control and didn't ask for. I talked to the boy, he smiled at me and asked me my name and if i ever played tennis, and he opened himself up, when his dad was yelling at him as i was in their court bringing in chairs, every time he hit the ball i told him great job, because he was ready to cry by how horrible his dad was, when they left i sat at my desk crying, and even went home and sobbed into my pillow because that shit makes me so upset.

That was really brave of you to say something to the father, not knowing how he would react to your criticism.  There are many horrible people in the world and unfortunately many of them are parents.  Not sure if it makes you feel any better, but I am sure your words of encouragement and kindness really brightened the son's day.   Sometimes all we can do is let people in bad situations know we care.

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I have had ADHD all my life, but didn't know it until I was an adult.  In elementary school, I was in an advanced reading group.  The woman who ran it was terrible to me.  She kept shouting at me to get control of myself, wouldn't let me answer any questions or add anything to discussions because my head was in the clouds, and wouldn't even let me work with the other kids when it came time to split into partners or small groups.  One day, she brought in candy, and said that everyone would get some besides me, and made good on that, too.  One time, when she was filling in for our regular teacher, she was leading the class in songs, and taking requests, and refused to sing the one I requested. 

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1 hour ago, naughty_lucy420 said:

I have had ADHD all my life, but didn't know it until I was an adult.  In elementary school, I was in an advanced reading group.  The woman who ran it was terrible to me.  She kept shouting at me to get control of myself, wouldn't let me answer any questions or add anything to discussions because my head was in the clouds, and wouldn't even let me work with the other kids when it came time to split into partners or small groups.  One day, she brought in candy, and said that everyone would get some besides me, and made good on that, too.  One time, when she was filling in for our regular teacher, she was leading the class in songs, and taking requests, and refused to sing the one I requested. 

What a bitch!, that is horrible to hear i am so sorry, i hope things are better though for you :)

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I was born hard of hearing, and I've had hearing aids since kindergarten. While they do help, they do not provide the services needed for me to hear what people are saying 100% of the time, so people I'm talking to often get aggravated when I ask them to repeat themselves multiple times (even my mother got angry sometimes). However, I have met some considerate people who have put up with me and have made conversation, repeating themselves as many times as needed. I am so thankful for those people. This is another reason I spend a lot of time online, it is easier for me to hear with headphones on, and reading instead of hearing is very helpful (I have captions on on almost everything I watch)

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6 minutes ago, Iliketrains said:

I was born hard of hearing, and I've had hearing aids since kindergarten. While they do help, they do not provide the services needed for me to hear what people are saying 100% of the time, so people I'm talking to often get aggravated when I ask them to repeat themselves multiple times (even my mother got angry sometimes). However, I have met some considerate people who have put up with me and have made conversation, repeating themselves as many times as needed. I am so thankful for those people. This is another reason I spend a lot of time online, it is easier for me to hear with headphones on, and reading instead of hearing is very helpful (I have captions on on almost everything I watch)

I'm sure you are a wonderful person, i hope things have gotten better for you. 

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I have ADHD and and was always hyper as a kid and had a real bubbly personality and was also sensitive and kind and it's very hard for me to be mean to someone. So I was bullied a lot growing up because of this, but not just in school unfortunately I took a lot of abuse from my step dad and older siblings to the point where I started getting really bad anxiety and also suffer from depression. I still have ADHD but I'm able to control it better now

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On 9/6/2016 at 6:39 PM, Omogirl24 said:

I have ADHD and and was always hyper as a kid and had a real bubbly personality and was also sensitive and kind and it's very hard for me to be mean to someone. So I was bullied a lot growing up because of this, but not just in school unfortunately I took a lot of abuse from my step dad and older siblings to the point where I started getting really bad anxiety and also suffer from depression. I still have ADHD but I'm able to control it better now

i'm so sorry to hear, i hope your life is better and you know that there are people that love you dearly such as myself no matter what :) 

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14 hours ago, Brittanybunny said:

i'm so sorry to hear, i hope your life is better and you know that there are people that love you dearly such as myself no matter what :) 

Thank you, my life has gotten better especially in these last couple of weeks. As for your experience I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. People can be so cruel and hateful. I hope you smile brightly everyday because you deserve to be happy and love yourself and smile.  Thank you and I love you dearly as well :)

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Ohhh boy, its like this was tailored to me. Okay so, I've got Aspergers Syndrome, though not the really cringy kind a lot of people with it seem to have (THE LEGENDARY FEDORA PHENOMENON!!) but more so the kind that keeps me really subdued and anxious in regards to being around strangers, and it affects the way I see things. Also made me a bit of an oddball. Peers don't like oddballs. I was bullied so hard in elementary I had to move, switch schools, and then it just got worse. Middle school I was teased and picked on every single day. It got bad. Reeeal bad. The violent shit the tv doesn't show kind of bad. See the school I transferred into was very...rural. Grades 7 8 and 9 perhaps had 30 students between them total. All the teachers knew all the kids parents, being from the area themselves, hell the janitor still lives a few houses down from me at this very moment. The faculty knew all the students personally, and the students had all known eachother since they were kids so...I was the odd one out. And the oddball, again. See where this leads to trouble?

At first it was just teasing and demeaning over trivial things, like my hair, my tiny frame, etc. I started sitting alone at lunch, the school was small enough that I could literally have my own table in the cafeteria. I'd occasionally get food thrown at me. I managed to blow that off for an entire year. They didn't like that. The faculty looked the other way on most situations. 8th year, nobody wanted to sit next to me, ever. There was a girl in english who was forced to sit next to me and would never hesitate to let me know how much she despised me if I so much as looked in her direction. 8th year was also the year where everything got horribly violent.

One time we played capture the flag in gym class. I'm fast. I captured the flag and still on the floor from the dive, cheered! I got swiftly kicked in the throat for it. Hard. By the rich bitch who was basically the woman jock, upset she didn't get the capture and I, the worthless piece of shit, had. I still have a raspy voice from it sometimes. But wait! There's more! I was literally shoved through a window! (This one literally couldn't be ignored by the faculty thank god), I walked into the cafeteria, was immediately attacked by a girl who was waiting for me in the corner next to the door. When I tried to fight back, jock bitch from earlier literally tackled me through the window I was next to. I climbed back in, I stared her down, and I walked away to tend away to the cuts it had gotten me. I still wish to this day I had just headbutt her right in her smug face.

BUT WAIT THERE'S EVEN MORE!! Another time I walked by a vending machine and a ninth year girl ran by and slammed my head into it, giving me a concussion. I just wanted some water. But that wasn't even the only concussion of my that time period. The worst beating by far came when a ninth year rugby player dragged me outside by the hair, and threw me onto the ground out of the security camera's view. She stomped on my head, shattering one of my teeth in its gum, before kneeling on me and beating me into unconsciousness with her bare hands. I barely remember what happened that day anymore. Luckily, once the cracked tooth (which ended up rotting) was pulled, I had a wisdom tooth above it, and it slid right into place. Lucky me right? The girl was suspended for a week :)

I'm not going to go into the last incident. The very last incident was....really bad. Like even with the heavy faculty bias, they had to call the police. After that last incident, I never returned to the school. I was homeschooled until highschool.

SO YEAH I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THE BULLYING OF DISABLED PEOPLE. ITS NOT COOL. IT WILL NEVER BE COOL. PLEASE STAND UP FOR YOURSELVES.

@LivingInfinite this shit is exactly why I got lessons in boxing, rasslin', judo, and other things.

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I'm fortunate that I've never really had to deal (personally) with any serious bullying at school, or indeed anywhere else. I've seen it, though, albeit not to the extent described above, and it's not nice. I suppose I was teased a little bit for having some slightly different interests to others (i.e. I wasn't that bothered about football), and I suppose that's where proper bullying starts, making light of people for being "different" to "normal" in one way or another. I shrugged it off, explained it, turned it back on them and generally didn't let it bother me, and they soon got bored and accepted me for who I was. Others might have let it get to them, shown some weakness and let it develop from there. It's just not on, at all. I'd not only urge those who are being bullied to stand up for themselves, but also those who are aware that someone else is being bullied to look out for them - maybe not giving the bullies a good thump, but just talking to the kid, possibly the lonely kid who thinks (or has been made to think) that they've got no friends and nothing in common with anyone, to let them know that they're not alone and maybe giving them the confidence boost that they need.

I've got quite a few friends with Aspergers and similar, to varying degrees, and I know plenty of others. It just seems to go with the territory - at work and in one of my hobbies (pretty much one and the same), they seem to fit in really well with it all. I'd guess (sorry @KozmoFox, if I've got this completely wrong!) that it's that everything's really well structured, procedures and rules for everything, that sort of thing. Almost without exception, I think, being involved in that sort of environment (whether it's just as an outsider, a volunteer or doing it for a job - one can often lead to another) has really helped them to realise that there's actually a lot of similar people with similar interests, given them more confidence and generally really helped them get on in life.

On the other hand, I'm also well used to an environment - even a culture - at work where it's accepted that folk throw insults around. I don't mind that...I accept that it's meant to be good-natured, take it in good grace and try my best to throw something back. It's just how it is. I'm always mindful that others might not see it that way though (and, again, I'm thinking of my Aspergers friends in particular, because they do struggle to interpret that sort of thing sometimes) that they might take it to heart and in turn become a target for even more "attention". Is that where bullying in the workplace begins?

 

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On 9/10/2016 at 1:44 PM, KozmoFox said:

Ohhh boy, its like this was tailored to me. Okay so, I've got Aspergers Syndrome, though not the really cringy kind a lot of people with it seem to have (THE LEGENDARY FEDORA PHENOMENON!!) but more so the kind that keeps me really subdued and anxious in regards to being around strangers, and it affects the way I see things. Also made me a bit of an oddball. Peers don't like oddballs. I was bullied so hard in elementary I had to move, switch schools, and then it just got worse. Middle school I was teased and picked on every single day. It got bad. Reeeal bad. The violent shit the tv doesn't show kind of bad. See the school I transferred into was very...rural. Grades 7 8 and 9 perhaps had 30 students between them total. All the teachers knew all the kids parents, being from the area themselves, hell the janitor still lives a few houses down from me at this very moment. The faculty knew all the students personally, and the students had all known eachother since they were kids so...I was the odd one out. And the oddball, again. See where this leads to trouble?

At first it was just teasing and demeaning over trivial things, like my hair, my tiny frame, etc. I started sitting alone at lunch, the school was small enough that I could literally have my own table in the cafeteria. I'd occasionally get food thrown at me. I managed to blow that off for an entire year. They didn't like that. The faculty looked the other way on most situations. 8th year, nobody wanted to sit next to me, ever. There was a girl in english who was forced to sit next to me and would never hesitate to let me know how much she despised me if I so much as looked in her direction. 8th year was also the year where everything got horribly violent.

One time we played capture the flag in gym class. I'm fast. I captured the flag and still on the floor from the dive, cheered! I got swiftly kicked in the throat for it. Hard. By the rich bitch who was basically the woman jock, upset she didn't get the capture and I, the worthless piece of shit, had. I still have a raspy voice from it sometimes. But wait! There's more! I was literally shoved through a window! (This one literally couldn't be ignored by the faculty thank god), I walked into the cafeteria, was immediately attacked by a girl who was waiting for me in the corner next to the door. When I tried to fight back, jock bitch from earlier literally tackled me through the window I was next to. I climbed back in, I stared her down, and I walked away to tend away to the cuts it had gotten me. I still wish to this day I had just headbutt her right in her smug face.

BUT WAIT THERE'S EVEN MORE!! Another time I walked by a vending machine and a ninth year girl ran by and slammed my head into it, giving me a concussion. I just wanted some water. But that wasn't even the only concussion of my that time period. The worst beating by far came when a ninth year rugby player dragged me outside by the hair, and threw me onto the ground out of the security camera's view. She stomped on my head, shattering one of my teeth in its gum, before kneeling on me and beating me into unconsciousness with her bare hands. I barely remember what happened that day anymore. Luckily, once the cracked tooth (which ended up rotting) was pulled, I had a wisdom tooth above it, and it slid right into place. Lucky me right? The girl was suspended for a week :)

I'm not going to go into the last incident. The very last incident was....really bad. Like even with the heavy faculty bias, they had to call the police. After that last incident, I never returned to the school. I was homeschooled until highschool.

SO YEAH I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THE BULLYING OF DISABLED PEOPLE. ITS NOT COOL. IT WILL NEVER BE COOL. PLEASE STAND UP FOR YOURSELVES.

@LivingInfinite this shit is exactly why I got lessons in boxing, rasslin', judo, and other things.

i'm so sorry to hear about this, if you ever need to talk message me.

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