Misteriousmr 541 Posted May 29, 2016 Share Posted May 29, 2016 There was a crash, a scream, a horrible, crunching sound, pain, the taste of blood in his mouth, a flurry of colors, and then everything went black. --3 weeks later-- Peter was carried into his room. He was happy to be back, he hadn't seen in for what felt like forever. It was full of things a boy of his age loved: dinosaurs were lined up underneath the window, posters of pretty cars, some of his drawings were hanging above his bed and on the floor was a pretty, light blue carpet. His mom tucked him in, and he grabbed his teddybear. "Nighty night dear!" "Night mom" he said, and she closed the door. "Well well well, look at you, all patched up!" the bear said, putting its soft paws around Peter's neck, "I missed you buddy!" "I missed you too, Alfred." the boy hugged the bear tightly. "Well, you ready for some adventure?" the bear asked jumping up on the bed, running over the window and opening it. Instantly, clouds came floating towards it, forming a walkway of sorts. Peter sat up as the bear jumped out of the windowand onto the clouds. "But..." Peter said, looking at Alfred, "but you can't walk on clouds, mom told me so!" "Oh really, has she ever tried, hmm? How can she be so sure?" Alfred said, raising one eyebrow. Peter could do nothing but agree with that logic, yet still slowly and carefully lowered its foot onto the cloud, making sure it was really something he could walk on. The clouds were soft and slightly springy. Alfred walked forwards as the clouds slowly started to form a ramp upwards, into the sky. About halfway up, Peter looked around. The town he lived was rather small, but it was nice and had everything they needed. "You comming, champ?" Once Peter had reached the top of the ramp, there was nothing but boundless, soft clouds in front of him. "You know, I'm glad you made such a good recovery!" the bear said, skipping a few paces in front of Peter, "well, what do you want to see?" Soon, the duo descended the ramp of clouds, and underneath Peter, there was a big forest visible. The leaves were the size of his entire body, and some trees reached into the clouds. Soon, he saw a big, brown, scaly head with dopey looking eyes appear next to him. Peter wasn't sure if the beast could see him or not, but the dinosaur soon started pulling the enormous leaves off of the trees. Peter descended further and saw more dinosaurs: Stegosauruses, a few Velociraptors running around and, judging by the bloodcurdeling roar, a Tyrannosaurus wasn't far away. "Hey Alfred..." Peter frowned, this had been bothering him for a while, "why is it my mom can't see you? She keeps saying you're just a fantasy..." Alfred scoffed, "Peter, you shouldn't worry about those sort of things! You know I'm real, and that's all that matters. And besides, fantasy is just magic that others can't see!" Peter smiled, Alfred always knew how to keep his troubles at bay. They went on many adventures, every night, and this night wasn't any diffrent; they saw fancy cars, big robots, a world made out of candy and many other things that made Peter's eyes widen in excitement. Whenever he told his mom about it, she'd say something about it "being a dream" or "having a big fantasy". They'd had fun the entire night, and they were walking around on the boundless clouds when Alfred stopped and pointed. "Wooow, Peter, look at that!" Quite a way away, there was a big, fancy looking door, seemingly not attached to anything, standing on the clouds. Alfred ran over, and Peter walked after him. Once they were close, Peter noticed how there was a light comming from behind the door. Peter walked around the door, but there was nothing there, not could he find where the light was comming from. Alfred put his paw on the doorknob, intent on opening it. "Wait!" Peter didn't know why, but he felt unsure about what was behind the door. Alfred looked at him. "What's wrong? It'll be exciting! Come on, you know me, have I ever dissapointed you? Trust me." Peter thought about it, and even though he felt unsure, he eventually nodded, and Alfred and Peter walked through the door... --------- The doctor walked into the hallway and looked at the woman. She was sitting on the hard, plastic chairs. When she looked up at the doctor, he noticed her eyes were red, and she was holding a squashed tissue. She looked as if she already knew... "I'm...I'm sorry..." the doctor looked at the ground as the woman started to cry softly. The next day, the inhabitants of a small town got their local newspaper with a heartbreaking headline: "Tragically, the 7-year-old Peter Durnsham has passed away yesterday after 3 weeks in the hospital. After a catcrash left him with severe injuries to his head, lungs and other internal organs, he was transported to the hospital, where he underwent multiple operations and tests, but to no avail. Peter will be burried comming sunday at the local cemetery with his closest friend and favorite bear, Alfred" THE END Pain and satyr 1 1 Link to comment
Ranpalan 496 Posted May 29, 2016 Share Posted May 29, 2016 Hm, I can't seem to find the report button in the new layout. If this isn't going to feature omo, it's in the wrong section. Link to comment
Misteriousmr 541 Posted May 29, 2016 Author Share Posted May 29, 2016 4 minutes ago, Ranpalan said: Hm, I can't seem to find the report button in the new layout. If this isn't going to feature omo, it's in the wrong section. It's above the post, next to the "X minutes ago" Where am I supposed to post fiction other than the fiction section ;) Plus, I heard from people they wouldn't mind if I put in some non-omo fiction, and on top of that it is clearly labled :) Link to comment
wheatley 31 Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 4 hours ago, Misteriousmr said: It's above the post, next to the "X minutes ago" Where am I supposed to post fiction other than the fiction section ;) Plus, I heard from people they wouldn't mind if I put in some non-omo fiction, and on top of that it is clearly labled :) well there's a "completely off topic" section in the forums, but i'm not really sure if it accepts stories. Link to comment
Misteriousmr 541 Posted May 30, 2016 Author Share Posted May 30, 2016 17 minutes ago, wheatley said: well there's a "completely off topic" section in the forums, but i'm not really sure if it accepts stories. Exactly, "fiction" includes more than lewdness. Link to comment
MKDude 19 Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 (edited) I feel like someone's trying to use a loophole to be a smartass. Also, you didn't hear from people. You posted a second topic and got a single reply of someone essentially shrugging at it. Edited May 30, 2016 by MKDude (see edit history) SashaButters 1 Link to comment
Misteriousmr 541 Posted May 30, 2016 Author Share Posted May 30, 2016 2 hours ago, Jeffery Mewtamer said: Discussion of things that should probably be brought up in site suggestions aside, I enjoyed this little snippet of non-omo fiction. Can't say I'm hooked on your writing yet, but I'd definitely be interested in reading something more substantial from you of the non-omo variety. Thanks! Is there anything specific that you'd change or improve, or is it just things like the subject? Link to comment
Barry 1,608 Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 I don't see a problem with it. It was clearly labeled "non omo," and if you're not interested in that, you don't have to read it. A seperate thread for non omo stuff could be very interesting as well though. Link to comment
satyr 1,314 Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 This site has three sections, clearly labeled "Omorashi", "General" and "Roleplaying." The fiction forum is under the "Omorashi" heading, on a forum that is in general dedicated to the fetish. It would seem obvious what kind of content you're supposed to post here. While your writing may or may not be good, I don't see why you feel the need to share it on a fetish site. This is not a general forum for fiction writers. I like stories here to have, as you put it, "more than lewdness" but this is in the end a forum devoted to sexy stuff. If the story doesn't contain anything related to omorashi, this isn't the place for it. I don't see why the forum has to accommodate all sorts of irrelevant stuff. There IS an off topic section on this site. pogbernard and SashaButters 2 Link to comment
Misteriousmr 541 Posted May 31, 2016 Author Share Posted May 31, 2016 Which doesn't include a fiction toppic...I see this place as more than a place to get your rocks off, I see it as a meeting place for people with the same intrests. There are forum games, off topic discussions, etc. This isn't just "come here for Omorashi", but more of a "here are people who like omorashi", and that's a diffrence. Damnation 1 Link to comment
dashie4124 2 Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 Satyr is correct about the fact that since Fiction and fanfiction is under the "Omorashi" section of the site's forum this story probably shouldn't be here. The best place to move this would be in off-topic. I'm not sure if there are really any forum rules about this in particular, but Kirito would probably see it this way. The hostility in the first few replies to the main post was absolutely unnecessary as well though, just because somebody posted something incorrectly doesnt mean that you should become hostile rather than attempt to help solve the situation. Link to comment
Recommended Posts