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I've been thinking if this topic would get any endorsement. We all get pissed off sometimes. Sometimes we need to talk it out to somewhere. I thought that it would be good to have a thread for reasonable or pointless rant, when it isn't essential to make own thread about it. 

 

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And yes, I'm annoyed. I'm really fed up with my behavior towards people I care. I don't seem to be able to control what or how I say. I was feeling positive about something that my boyfriend said to me, but my response was still negative, like it always is. I don't know how to change it. I am just a big mess who creates negativity around everything. >.>

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've been thinking if this topic would get any endorsement. We all get pissed off sometimes. Sometimes we need to talk it out to somewhere. I thought that it would be good to have a thread for reasonable or pointless rant, when it isn't essential to make own thread about it. 

 

--

 

And yes, I'm annoyed. I'm really fed up with my behavior towards people I care. I don't seem to be able to control what or how I say. I was feeling positive about something that my boyfriend said to me, but my response was still negative, like it always is. I don't know how to change it. I am just a big mess who creates negativity around everything. >.>

 

Don't put yourself down hun. I know that sounds pretentious and whatnot but you're definitely not a big miss that creates negativity. I get emotions like that daily so I'm a hypocrite in that respect but please don't put yourself down, it's the worst thing you can do. Yes stuff in life makes things bleak but never let it get to you. Keep pushing through it hun. I know you can do it.

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  • 1 month later...

Hm, It's time to come back to this thread again; I need to open up somewhere. 

So, this day has been the worst in a while - if looking my emotional variance. I'm extremely moody every day and my emotions are really intense, but this day it's been hundred times worse than usually.

Last night I saw a really strange dream. I was at home (not actual, but it was my home in the dream), and somehow two strange dogs without any known owner had appeared in there. I left the house in purposes of finding the possible owners. There were some alien-like creatures outside and they had a big robot-like vehicle I had to test. At first I was supposed to play some weird game, run around the city with it and collect some stuff and eventually fly into space. However, I somehow managed to get into a house, where my art idol had been living and she had apparently died. Some strangers came in there too. I was looking through her stuff in order to take them myself. There were art supplies, drawings, a diary, letters, stamps and unfinished Moomin jigsaw puzzles. 

I woke up and all was unclear and blurry, I was feeling strange to myself and at first I wasn't even sure where I was. My view was dispersed, weird and misty. I was still able to figure that I had to go to psychology exam today and that I was supposed to read in morning: I panicked that I had overslept and tried feverishly to find my phone. Eventually I found it and realized there were still time left. I walked into kitchen and started to see and understand my surroundings more clearly, but my head felt still blurry. I sat in front of my books and tried to start reading - I didn't understand anything. It was like I was reading - not only foreign - but unworldly language. I felt a deep agony in my chest and stomach and it wasn't only emotional, I felt real pain too. I decided to drink black coffee (I didn't have any milk and I usually don't like to drink it black), I thought that it would clear my thoughts at least a bit. 

After an hour I was finally working with the book and notes. My feeling alternated from confident to totally afraid of disaster and back. I was running out of time and there was still things that I hadn't learned well, so I decided to study only partly and trust in luck. Well, there wasn't choices that were my ultimate strengths but I could answer something in every question - maybe not perfectly (which I blame myself for not being wise with using time) but not badly either. Unless I messed up something really badly

I left the classroom without emotions. Then it hit me. An extremely good feeling, I'm not good in describing what good emotions feel like, but I felt over good, I felt like I'd explode while feeling so good. I felt it physically, like I was ripping up in middle from joy. 

When I came back home, I forgot to eat even I was super hungry earlier. I forgot to call my mom. Later I called her only to ask if I had called her or not.

Then, it was gone. As fast as it started. I was feeling sad, empty, destroyed and anxious for no reason at all. After that I was angry, furious, raving. Because my bf answered only with a smiley to my poop emoji I sent only because I wanted some attention. Yes, what the hell else you're supposed to answer to that.  

Then I suddenly felt empty again. I was afraid of becoming stranded. I was surfing online with no any interest to do anything and BOOM I had to stand up, because I couldn't stand sitting down and still and I started to walk around my house like I was at my wits' end. My thoughts ran fast and I couldn't catch on any thought I had. I wanted to go to smoke a cigarette, but then again I had been about to write down my feelings a while already, so maybe now was the time to finally do that. 

Yes. But my pen is missing. I have plenty of them but I can't find any, I can't remember where to look up.  I walked around my home without head or tail. I forgot all the time what I was doing and where I was going. Why did I come into this room? Oh, the pen. Yeah. After I found it and was about to finally start writing, I realized I had nothing to write on. So I once again started to wander around my home looking for notebooks or something and came across with my old journals and started to browse them and chat about boobs in one whatsapp group. 

Now I'm feeling a bit better, but still somehow strange. Ehh. 

/rant

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  • 2 weeks later...

I seem to be only one to ever post here, but oh well. xD

I'M SO **** MAD. I need a new washing machine, I've already tried two days to wash one set of laundry because dear Mr. washing machine decides to go into error once in a while and never goes till end. 

Modern conveniences make life easy, you say. Right.

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Dunno if this is the sort of thing this thread is for, but I've got a rather specific annoyance that bugs me a lot. Not exactly generic.

I have Aspergers, a form of autism. Its not overly bad and I'm not nearly as cringy or awkward as I've seen many others with the disability...I seem relatively normal in contact, its just I'm always secretly very uncomfortable around people and they usually don't know it. But that's not what I'm here for.

I get a bit of the sensory issue carried over from actual autism. Especially with sounds. It might not make sense to hear, but many different sounds from many different places make me uncomfortable and irritable. Its like my brain tries to give them each exclusive priority. The whirring of the fan, the music coming from the TV, 3 different conversations in the same room, the dogs playing...all that going on at once in a regular household isn't uncommon, but all that at once bugs the shit out of me. But if I'm at someone elses house and I want to ask say "Hey can we turn down the music" in order to avoid a sensory overload, I usually don't because explaining specifically why is a hassle, so I need to either sit there and grind my teeth or make up some bullshit excuses. I've made a lot of bullshit excuses over the years, they've gotten quite impressive.

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