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Funny and untrue things that you thought as a kid


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My mom told me that if I stayed in a draining bathtub until the last of the water drained out, I would get sucked down the drain with it.  I was like 4 so I didn't know any better.

 

She later denied ever telling me that.

 

I also used to think that a man peed inside a girl's vagina to get her pregnant when I was little, but I'm pretty sure that's a common misconception among kids. 

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What things did you believe as a kid or early life that you now know to be hilariously false?   I used to think you could just write a check, take it to any bank and get free money.   Banned posts

I used to think that much like film and television, everything was in black and white until the 60s. Like, I would picture my parents' childhoods and they weren't in color. I honestly still do sometim

I read that as "a little green man" and imagined a radio show being hosted by a leprechaun.

Once, my mom told me my headache medicine wouldn't work unless I laid completely still.

I believed that until I was sixteen, and mentioned that I couldn't go shopping because I had taken ibuprofen and wanted it to work. She asked me what I was talking about, I told her I had to stay still, she asked me where I heard that, I told her she told me, and she laughed for like three years. Apparently she just told me that so I wouldn't bother her that day.

 

I also used to ponder if tittyfucking was how sex worked, because I thought the boobs had significance and forgot vaginas were a thing. I won't say how old I was when I thought this because it will just prove how sheltered I was in sexual matters, by both my parents and my school.

Edited by Harley Quinn (see edit history)
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Guest tortoise

I used to think that people were actually able to become trapped in the TV, and thus were then able to 'travel' between different TV shows just for fun. This was because I watched a LOT of children's television as a kid (funny that!) and the 'reruns' shown in the afternoon would often have a person on screen who would interpret what as being said in sign language, for deaf children. Trapped in the TV, see?

Many a day I spent, right up close, inches away from the telly screen in the hope I'd magically be absorbed inside and solve all the problems my favourite children's cartoons were having. I still remember a cartoon about an animal who needed a wee, and how I *had* to 'get into the telly' so I could help him go for his wee...

I was a silly girl

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Guest Tastes Golden

Meh... I believed that I am a queen of the Strangetown aliens from The Sims 2 Nintendo DS and that I got sucked into the real world, cramped into a child's body and adopted...

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That reminds me of some binoculars that I had as a kid. Since I found it quite annoying to correct the focus with this little cylinder on top of them every sindle time I used them, I spent half an hour to adjust it perfectly and wanted noone to ever touch it again. However, next time I used them, again I was dissappointed by the image sharpness and could have sworn that someoone had tampered with them.

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On 8/2/2013 at 0:42 AM, DrBorderline said:

I thought, very early on, that gravity functioned perpendicular to a euclidean plane in space and that there was a whole other side of the globe that was uninhabitable because people and objects would fall off into space. Granted, I didn't use those terms to describe my idea - at that age, I couldn't have pronounced "euclidean". I drew up this elaborate system of suction cups, scaffolding, hot air balloons and hang gliders to allow colonizing of the underside of earth. Well, elaborate for a four year old.

 

My parents set me straight when I tried to explain the idea. Could have done without the hysterical laughter, though.

I think it would be cool to write a book or something about this.

I used to believe that all money (coins bills and such) had the same value so I'd get upset if my brother had 50 pennies and I had a 20 dollar bill because "he has more monies than me!"

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When I was a very young kid I remember being terrified of the plug / overflow hole thing in the bath because I thought I could be pulled down with the water. Utterly ridiculous I know but it was at a very young age before I seemed to have grasped physics properly!

I believed until I was about 7 or even 8, possibly way too old to think this, that my pee was stored in my testicles before it came out. It just made sense, they were right below the penis and why else would they be there? Eventually I realised it couldn't be the case after a combination of biology lessons and a realisation that when I really needed the toilet they didn't get 'bigger' or anything, so the pee couldn't be kept in there. Sounds so silly typing this now but I genuinely thought this was the case and am somewhat surprised it took me until that age to realise.

Also up until the age of about 5 I believed that girls peed out of their bums. The lack of a penis and the fact they sat down to go to the toilet meant the only possibility was that it came out of the back. I truly was a little scientist :P

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When I was little maybe 4 or 5 my brother told me there were ninjas hiding all around the world and there were even some hiding in our house.

 

(Kind of a shame it is not true really. Just think about someone breaking into your house at night and a ninja pops out from behind potted plant or something. Would be the best security system ever.)

Edited by PrincessEmilia (see edit history)
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